MAY 2020

Friday 1 May 2020

Bumped into a dog walking friend on the Merchants Golf Course this afternoon. We had a very nice chat albeit 2m apart and then we sat in her garden for half an hour and had a glass of wine. Quite a few people walked past while we were sitting there but to be honest I think more and more people are breaking the rules now.

I've decided that I'm going to write a blog for the whole of May.  Not sure what I'm going to write about.  Just things that pop into my mind I guess.

Blog post 1 – Home Alone

OK so it's the 1st May 2020 and we've been in 'lock down' now for five and a half weeks. That's 39 days for anyone who doesn't know. Even Noah was only on his ark for 40 days & nights! I like to have little projects to work on so I thought that my challenge for May 2020 could be posting a 'blog a day' for the next 31 days............ 'LOCK DOWN through my eyes. …...........The eyes of a 61 year old ranting single female who lives alone with a dog. …........At least I'm not a mad cat woman. Not that I have anything against cats you understand. I don't. I like cats. But could never, ever, have one because they bring their owners presents, ie dead mice and birds and other horrible things.

Anyway more than 35 years ago I was a teacher, living in the capital city of Scotland, and the Headteacher of the school that I was working in, was a very innovative 'spinster' in her 40s (obviously she seemed ancient to me because I was only 25) who had a fat spaniel who used to spend most of it's day in her car or in her office. How times have moved on. Dogs aren't even allowed anywhere on school premises these days and to leave a dog in a car for most of the day would definitely be classed as animal cruelty.

There is a reason for me telling you this.................... I distinctly remember saying to friends; 'If I ever end up like Miss B just shoot me.'

….............And now I'm a middle aged spinster (albeit about 20 years older than she was at the time) living alone with my dog. ….........And I couldn't be happier. …..........And I don't want to be shot. …...............I love my life.

BUT...................... there's always a BUT isn't there? After five and a half weeks of being in compulsory isolation, at times, I've wondered whether I've actually made the correct life choices. Maybe it would have been better to have a partner that one wasn't actually 'in love' with but who one might have been able to rub along with quite amicably. Then I wouldn't have had to spend the last five and a half weeks just talking to a 17 month old Collie pup.

Hmmmmm.................... five and a half weeks versus a lifetime of doing what I want to do................... yep I guess I've definitely made the right decision. 99% of the time I'm really happy with my life. It's that 1% that keeps featuring in my life a lot over the last few weeks.

Irrational thoughts keep popping into my head like; what if I get Covid-19? Who is going to look after my dog? What if I get really ill really quickly and aren't even able to phone for an ambulance myself? What if I die all alone? Who is going to find me when no one is actually visiting me? And what impact will this have on my 17 month old Collie pup if she's home alone in the flat with me and I'm dead and she doesn't have any food? Might she start to eat me? Is that what animals do if they're desperate? As I say.......................... totally irrational thoughts??!! I post so much on social media that I'm sure someone would notice within 24 hours if I hadn't posted a photo of myself drinking a glass of wine and I'm pretty sure my gorgeous little Collie pup wouldn't think of eating me within 24 hours?!

So to get back to why I'm actually posting this post; it's my May Challenge 2020. Every day for the whole of May I'm going to post something about my thoughts and feelings about being in lock down as a single person. I might just write a paragraph. I might write screeds and screeds. I don't know yet. I'm just going to see where the mood takes me.

…................And as most of you know..................... I do like RANTING so a lot of these posts might be a bit ranty. Lol!

Saturday 2 May 2020

40 days in lock down. Even Noah only spent that amount of time on his ark and he had company!

Walked along the cycle path (they're called shared pathways these days) to K&Fs house where I sat in their garden with them. I know it's breaking the rules but at least I'm being careful. I always sit 2m away from anyone and I've never been inside anyone's house. I know loads of people who have given up on the rules now and are visiting friends in their houses.

Walking there takes about one hour, 20 mins and although I usually keep Trixie on her lead on the cycle paths, it was like walking down the middle of the M1. Talk about busy. If I catch Covid I'll probably have got it from someone whizzing past me far to close. It was like the whole of Edinburgh were out on their bikes today. And what is it with cyclists who never ring their bell. They were zooming past at about 100mph and some were only inches away from us, let alone 2m. It was very, very, annoying.

Decided to walk home through the centre of town because I thought it might be quieter. It was. Princes Street on a Saturday afternoon was completely deserted.

Oh and I've just downloaded the 'Zoe Covid Sympton Tracker' app onto my phone. Not sure what it actually does. I think I just have to answer a couple of questions everyday about how I'm feeling.

Blog post 2 – Dog Walking

So when lock down was announced on Monday 23^rd March 2020, I initially didn't think it would be any great problem. After all, I'd voluntarily gone into 'self isolation' for three days before that. I had food. I had toilet rolls. I even had pasta.

….............And I had a 16 month old collie pup who needed a walk at least twice a day. I had an 'essential' reason to go out. And I was quite happy to go out only twice a day to walk the dog. Oh and a quick trip outside between 10-11pm for her to have a wee before bedtime because I live in a flat.

On the afternoon of the 23^rd March I took my collie pup, for a walk in one of our normal dog walking routes and had a lovely time. The only other people there were lone dog walkers walking their furry friends.

The minute 'lock down' was announced............ psychologically my whole perspective on my life changed. I was no longer free to do whatever I wanted. We were being told that we could only go out for one hour of exercise a day.

I broke the rules........................

…..............On the afternoon of 24^th March I went back to my normal dog walking place (after already trekking my dog around the streets in the morning) and it was absolutely mobbed with people. It was like the whole world was out doing their one bit of exercise a day. Seriously?!

There were joggers, there were cyclists, there were zillions of people walking dogs. It was like, overnight the whole world had gone into some sort of mad exercise mode. Boris had told us we could exercise once a day so everyone was exercising once a day. The PM had spoken so we all had to go out.

Where had all these dogs come from. When did they normally get their walks. Were they normally picked up via the 'dog walking vans' first thing in the morning and transported to places unknown at a vast cost to their owners?

It was weird?! All of a sudden, our normally quiet dog walking routes were over-run with zillions of dog walkers. Oh and I have to say most of them were things that were crossed with a poodle so were some sort of 'doodle' things. And most of them were wearing full body coats. Right down to their paws.

It was ridiculous?! Grrrrr......................

Zillions of poodly/doodly dogs wearing designer coats in our dog walking places. It was an absolute nightmare.

For the first couple of weeks of lock down I just didn't have a clue where to take my pooch to give her some run about time. I couldn't let her off her lead because she was a very bouncy little Collie pup who still had a tendency to 'jump up' at everybody who she saw. And as all the dog walking routes were now filled with joggers and parents teaching their small children how to ride bikes; I just couldn't risk her doing her 'jumping up' thing every 2 mins. For almost 2 weeks I kept her on her lead, I avoided my normal dog walking places and just trekked her around the streets on her lead. And for the first two weeks of lock down the streets were a lot quieter than the parks?!

And then I had a 'lightbulb moment'........................ if I took her to the parks/dog walking places first thing in the morning (ie before 9am) I was sure it wouldn't be so busy. My theory was correct. Yay! Having said that, there were still a few joggers around and there were still a few families out with little people at that time. But nothing like the hoards of people who descend on these places during the day.

….........So then I went through a phase of taking her somewhere for a 'run about' first thing in the morning and trekking her around the streets on her lead in the afternoon.

Fast forward to almost 6 weeks in lock down and actually........................ I'm loving the fact that I have to be more resourceful re where I walk her. I have found some fabulous new places to walk. Mainly on golf courses, where we have the 'right to roam' in Scotland, but I've also walked around places that I would never even of considered walking around before.

And the best thing about being in lock down from a dog walking point of view...................... my Collie pup has become far less 'jumpy'.

'Jumping up' at random people was her worst quality a couple of months ago and I was tearing my hair out as to how I would ever train her to keep all her paws on the floor whilst retaining her friendly nature towards all humans & dogs. Perhaps she's just outgrown this. Or perhaps because there's zillions more people around I'm just able to catch her before she actually jumps and I can reinforce the command, 'No jumping' on a more regular basis. Who knows. She's not perfect yet (and probably never ever will be) but the number of people who are out and about walking certainly seem to have contributed to my Collie pup turning into a 'perfect pooch.'

Sunday 3 May 2020

It was my friend Js 60^th birthday yesterday. She had a big party planned and I was really looking forward to it. That obviously never happened.

Today I went on another mammoth walk which took me through Holyrood Park. Actually I went there to meet J so that I could give her some flowers for her birthday. She wasn't available yesterday as she was doing 'family things' all day, including getting a lift to and from her house to her sons house in his car. But to be honest is that really any worse than her travelling back and forward to work every day on a bus and then serving people in a shop, as she is a key worker? Anyway we sat on the grass (2m away from each other) and had a chat for half an hour.

What I found a bit strange was.................. the park is normally closed to traffic on a Sunday but today it wasn't. Haven't a clue why that might be.

It's been said that there are two types of people during these times of lock down.......

There's those self-righteous ones that are detoxing, getting fit, doing on-line courses and learning new skills. Eating healthily and devising new recipes which they are cooking from scratch. Sticking to a routine and wearing perfect make up and clothes every day. They will emerge from lock down with toned bodies and will have morphed into perfect people.

…..........And then there's the people who have devised really clever ways to put all the empty wine bottles into the recycling bin when no one is watching, and wear the same top for 4 days running and who feel a real sense of achievement when they get the hoover out for 5 mins or cook something that doesn't involve being put in a microwave.

Guess which category I fit into. Lol!

Blog post 3 – Memory feeds

What is it with all these posts popping up on Face Book saying, 'I'm just posting this so that it pops up every year on my memory feed of how life was in 2020?' And then follows a big screed of stuff about how much petrol was and how schools were closed and how everyone was in lock down, etc, etc, etc.

Can I just say that I absolutely LOVE social history, so I can totally understand why everyone is jumping on the bandwagon and reposting these sorts of posts. Obviously we all want to look back on our lives in this terrible time and be able to see what we were doing 20 years ago. BUT actually................... we're living in a digital world. So even if we don't re-post all this mundane stuff on our own timelines it will be out there somewhere in the world of cyberspace.

The price of petrol and the fact that shops were closed and schools/colleges/universities and pubs/restaurants may not re-open forever; will be reported for ever more on all the social media/news sites. We don't need to re-post all this stuff. This is the type of stuff that is going to be re-posted and reported in the news for years to come.

If  people want to make memories, real memories about their lives that no-one else has access to; or memories about how they are actually living their lives in lock down; then these are the things that they should be recording. Because these are the things that are going to be important in future years.

We all know that schools have closed and in 20 years time we can google how children learned in this difficult time and we can google how much a litre of petrol cost in 2020 and we can google how people went shopping during lock down or how lock down impacted on everyone financially. We've all got 'apps' on our smart phones so that we can fill in a questionnaire every day about how Coronavirus is affecting our lives. BUT actually all these questionnaires are data bases. There is no room for any personal comment or query. Every single question has to fit into a box.

….............And I don't know about anybody else, but my life does not fit into a box!

To make memories in these really difficult times of lock down then we all have to record our own stories. We have to record what we're thinking, feeling, experiencing. Of course we can all add a bit of info into a database but how many databases do you know that actually record thoughts and feelings?

We all have to make our own memories. And, the only way that future generations will actually understand what we are all going through during the Covid-19 crisis is if we all personally record this somewhere.

Yes, a lot of stuff will keep popping up on FB feeds for years to come (& that's assuming FB will weather the storm) but I actually think if we really want to show what is happening in the world right now, then we need to stop filling in all these stupid data based questionnaires that seem to be popping up all over the internet and instead just start writing down our own thoughts and feelings.

Facts can always be googled later. How an individual is feeling right now cannot.

Monday 4 May 2020

I'm not the most techie person in the world so I always like to write down my engagements in a paper diary. What a waste of money that was.

Six weeks in lock down and according to First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, we're probably going to have to do another three weeks of this. Totally agree it would be madness to come out of this lock down too early, but it's still hard. I've never really been interested in politics before but I really admire Nicola. She's out there every day facing her public and giving us her daily briefings. I have to say I'd hate to have to do her job.

Went for a little stroll down the Royal Mile this afternoon to see what was happening. There wasn't anything happening.

The song lyrics, 'Please release me, let me go', keep popping into my head.

Blog post 4 – Cooking

Is any other single person doing loads of 'batch cooking' all the time because they're terrified of getting Coronavirus and being totally isolated for 2 weeks and not have anything to eat? And not having anyone to deliver food to them. …........And worrying that instead of actually dying from Coronavirus they might actually die of starvation??

My freezer is full. It is full of lasagne and fish pie and chicken curry and pork steaks and Cottage pie and Beef stew. I probably have enough food in my freezer to last me for two months. But the only veg I have in there are frozen peas and some carrots/cauliflower that I shoved in there a week ago because I bought it when I was in a 'healthy I need to eat vegetables mode' and then didn't eat it. …..........Oh and I do have oven chips. They're a vegetable? Right?

I'm going mad! On my list of jobs to do; I want to defrost the freezer. But I can't because it's full of stuff. So I don't actually want to defrost the freezer because I've invested a lot of time, effort & money in doing all this 'batch cooking' because I have somehow morphed into a 'domestic goddess'. And to take everything out of the freezer and let it defrost would probably not be a good plan.

Soooooo................... I buy more and more stuff at the local shops (which are way more expensive than going to a big supermarket once a week). I had a very yummy prawn Biryani curry from M&S the other day. Haven't a clue why? I have three portions of an equally yummy home-made chicken curry which is currently residing in my freezer.

BUT..................... I keep cooking more and more stuff and trying to cram more and more stuff into the freezer. The freezer is now FULL!!!.

Oh and while I'm having a bit of a RANT about cookery.......................... Did anyone else watch the 'Jamie Oliver' programme on Channel 4 at 5.30pm? It's not on any more. Now we've got 'Crafting Kirstie Allsop' which is equally annoying.

To be honest I haven't actually got anything else to do at that time of day and watching cookery programmes isn't my thing; but seriously.................. Jamie was the one who campaigned to get rid of 'chicken nuggets'. And now he's recording cookery programmes from his house with his perfect kids who are always chopping up stuff. The other day he made a stir fry which actually included more than 20 ingredients. How on earth can anyone in lock-down have more than 20 fresh ingredients in their fridge? What normal person even has a fridge big enough to house all those ingredients? Middle class people with that number of ingredients in their massive fridges are not watching TV at 5.30pm in the evening. They're too busy cooking healthy nutritious meals from scratch for their families.

Jamie needs to get back to basics and help the low income families who can only afford chicken nuggets. Times are hard and as usual, it's the families on the very lowest of incomes that are suffering. So come on Jamie................. Why don't you stop all this 'middle class' faffing around and actually show a low income family how they can feed their family healthily and nutritionally for less than a bag of chicken nuggets and oven chips would cost at Iceland???????????

Oh dear........................ I really must stop RANTING but seriously programmes like this really annoy me.

I CHALLENGE you Jamie Oliver to produce a nutritious meal for 4 for £5 or under. And none of this; 'from your store cupboard you can just use olive oil or this herb or that herb'. Families on the lowest income don't actually have anything in their store cupboard. That's why they go to shops like Iceland & Farmfoods to buy stuff like chicken nuggets and oven chips.

I personally just feel that for low income families life is really hard just now. And not just for the main meal of the day. Everyone is at home so that kids who normally would be entitled to free school meals are now eating all their meals at home. How is that working? And how can parents actually afford to feed their kids, especially if they've been working on a zero hour contracts and now have no work?

Just saying??!!

Tuesday 5 May 2020

The news is full of how we're going to come out of this lockdown. Planning this must be an absolute nightmare for the powers that be. However all I want to do is get working again, get renting my house in Cornwall out again and get earning again. None of which is going to happen soon.

And I'm just wondering how opening up the 'drive thru Costa Coffee' can actually be considered to be essential travel? Apparently there were 20 cars in the queue and a wait of 40 mins at the Cameron Toll Costa at the weekend. All for a coffee. Why? How on earth can buying a coffee be considered as essential travel?

Blog post 5 – Staying in

OK so we're in lock down. We've been in lock down for more than 6 weeks. We're only allowed to go out for our daily exercise or food shopping or to pick up prescriptions. …...............Or to walk our dogs.

I've just had a video chat with a couple of friends and one of them hasn't actually left her house since lock down was announced. …..........Oh I tell a lie. She did go to the end of her street to post a letter. How can she be happy doing that? How can anybody be happy having no human contact for 6 weeks? She's the same age as me. (61 years old if anyone is interested) and she lives alone, like me.

The difference between us is.................. I live alone in my own flat with my dog so I have a reason to go out. I've lived in six different countries during the 61 years of my life. I've worked in numerous different jobs and I've had numerous different relationships. All of which have failed I suppose. But there again can a 'failed relationship' only be judged on the fact that it didn't end in marriage?

I digress.

My friend lives alone in the house that she was born in. She was briefly engaged for a short period of time, more than 30 years ago, and that didn't work out, so she stayed living at home with her mother, until her mother died a few years ago. And now she is 'home alone' in the only house that she has ever lived in for the whole of her 61 years of her life and has only ever known. 61 years in the same house? I can't even comprehend how someone can live a life like that. My friend worked in the Civil Service since she left school and took early retirement in her late 50s.

In normal times, I don't actually see her a lot.  I don't think she goes out a lot.  I don't really know.  Anyway, I've known her since I was about 12 years old, and along with another friend that I've known since I was about 12 years old....................... we had a video chat.

Even though I've known this very lovely lady since I was about 12 years old, I don't actually know how she spends her day to day life. I know that she is very close to one of her sisters and very close to her niece who lives abroad. Apart from that I have absolutely no idea how she spends her days. To be honest I don't think we have that much in common. I'm a 'social butterfly' and am always out & about in normal circumstances. Because I live by myself and am 'home alone' I'm finding this lock down thing really hard. I HATE it.

However it transpires that my friend hasn't even been out of her house to buy food. It's not even like she's in the vulnerable category. Apparently her very much older sister & brother-in-law do a 'click & collect' thingy and so pick up groceries for her and drop them off on her doorstep. Fortunately the weather has been lovely in April so she's been out in the garden a lot, but she's not been out for a walk or gone out to the shops or gone any where. Apart from to the post box at the end of her street!

How can anybody be happy only doing that?

I feel like I'm in prison but at least I have a dog that I can take out twice a day.

I'm used to going out to my fitness club 4-5 times a week and I'm used to going out working and in normal times I usually meet up with friends at least once or twice a week for meals out or drinks. And in normal times I will go to a friends house for dinner once a week or they will come to me for dinner.

I guess it's different for everyone but I don't really understand why she doesn't go out for a walk or go out to do her own shopping. When I asked how she spent her days she said she'd been out in the garden a lot. I agree that we're very lucky because for the majority of the last 6 weeks the weather has been really good. And my friend does have quite a big garden which I'm guessing requires a lot of work to maintain it. But seriously?...................... How can anybody be happy trapped in one house and garden for more than 6 weeks?

Oh well, I guess we're all different and everybody is coping with this lock down thing in different ways. If my friend wants to stay in, who am I to say that she can't?

.Wednesday 6 May 2020

Looks like the road beside the entrance to the Hermitage has been blocked off. So people can no longer park right next to the entrance, so they're now parking in all the surrounding streets. Great! I'm sure the residents love that.

Coffee shops are now re-opening but can they really be considered 'essential'? The queue at the 'Lodge Coffee Shop' at the entrance to the Hermitage was about a mile long this afternoon. Admittedly people were standing 2m apart but I still don't get why buying a take away coffee is essential.

Blog post 6 – Breaking the rules

OK, so we all know what the rules in LOCK DOWN are................

ONLY ESSENTIAL TRAVEL

ONLY GO OUT FOR FOOD/EXERCISE/TO PICK UP PRESCRIPTIONS

DO NOT MEET ANYONE OUTSIDE THE HOME

More than 6 weeks in and a lot of the rules are obviously being broken as far as I can see. This is going to be a very different kind of blog than the ones I've written during the last few days.

All I'm going to do is post a list of everyone that I personally know who has been breaking the lock down rules in the last 6 weeks........................  Well obv I'm not going to name and shame them because I am not a snitch and do not want to get anyone into trouble.

1)  ME – I own a dog and live in a flat so instead of going out for my one bit of exercise a day I have been going out for a walk twice a day. However I would argue with anyone, that owns an active little Collie pup (or any dog for that matter)who lives in a flat, ….....they need to go to the toilet more than once a day?! And at least I do my local shop at the same time and just tie her up outside.

2)  FRIEND – Who during the last 6 weeks has been going out numerous times a week, in the car, to buy plants and paint. Not to maintain anything you understand, just so that she has a little hobby to do during lock down.

3)  ANOTHER FRIEND – Who lives alone but who regularly has her adult children around to her house ......................at least once a week.

4)  NEIGHBOUR – Who is over 70 years of age but still thinks it's OK to go out in her car to an M&S, 4 miles away to buy chicken, even though there's an M&S just across the road but she doesn't like that one. And actually she's in the vulnerable group and I've said I'll do shopping for her.

5)  ANOTHER FRIEND – Who thinks that making a special trip to pick up a 'Costa Coffee' is acceptable, even though her husband is in the 'vulnerable group'. .............Seriously, what is wrong with her?..................... why can't she just make a coffee at home?

6)  AN AQUAINTANCE – Who is over 70, but has been to a 'party' in someone else's house 'because it was a birthday'.

7)  ANOTHER FRIEND – Who got into a car twice, once with a friend and once with their son. Seriously?!!............

8) AN AQUAINTANCE – Who thinks that sitting in a very small garden with a load of other people less than 2m apart is perfectly OK because it's outside.

9)  ANOTHER FRIEND – Who said it was OK for me to walk my dog for miles and then get the bus home 'because the buses aren't busy'. …...........What part of 'non-essential' travel do people not get? Is really jumping on a bus because you get a bit tired on the dog walk 'essential travel'???

10) ANOTHER FRIEND – Who said, 'The takeaways are opening up because some people don't know how to cook'??!! Seriously????? A lot of us don't know how to cook, but everyone has the ability to shove a ready meal into an oven or a microwave.

............….And so it goes on............................. Everybody is breaking the rules.

I for one, just want to get out of this lock down thing ASAP but it's not going to happen any time soon, because loads of people aren't sticking to the rules.

Buying paint, buying plants, buying a coffee, buying a take-away meal.................. to my mind is NOT ESSENTIAL. ….............But then of course we get all the posts on FB about how everyone's mental health is being affected.

And I totally agree with all that. Yes everyone's mental health is being affected. BUT I also think that we should just all pull together and stop all feeling like victims.

Everyone is obsessed with 'mental health' these days????

Life in lock down is hard for all of us and we all have different ways of coping with these difficult times. So let's all just pull together, embrace it and try to get on with it in the very best ways that we can because I don't think that this lock down is going to end any time soon.

Thursday 7 May 2020

When lock down first started I could have done the whole of the dog walk in the middle of the road. Now there's a lot of cars about. There's even queues at the bus stops again and I'm pretty sure that not everyone who is travelling on the bus is a key worker.

Had to walk down to the vets at Tollcross to get tick/flea tablets for Trixie the Collie pup, because my branch (which is just around the corner) is closed. I just don't get how coffee shops are allowed to open, but vets aren't??

Blog post 7 – Books

In these times of lock-down one has to try to experience things that one wouldn't normally do. Like reading books. I've never actually seen the point of reading books. I've never seen the point in joining a book club. Apart from for the wine & nibbles of course. Loads of people have tried telling me that reading books can transport you into another life. Or give you an experience that you wouldn't normally be able to experience. Or give you an insight to someone else's life.

Duh.................. I just don't get it?!!

Anyway one day last week I thought, 'It's a lovely sunny day; I'm going to sit on my balcony and read a book.

The only book I had was a booked called, 'Woman to Woman'. …......A No 1 bestseller, written by someone called Cathy Kelly. A friend gave me this book about 6 months ago when I said I was going to start reading books. I always seem to have better things to do than read books, so obviously I never got round to reading this book.

…..........But lock-down does strange things to us. So I sat outside on my balcony and started reading this book. The following day I sat outside on my balcony and read some more of this book. The day after that the weather was still good so I was still out on the balcony reading this book.

After 3 days I was hoping it was going to rain so that I didn't have to sit outside and read this book. No such luck. Day 4 was again a lovely day so I sat outside and read.

I'm now on page 192 and so far all that's happened is; 'Aisling's husband has left her, she's got 10 year old twins to look after so has gone back to work after 12 years. And her friend Jo is pregnant and her boyfriend has left her'. #justnormallifethen

192 pages to say that? I've missed my vocation in life. I could be an author. I could have read all that in 'Take a Break' magazine in 2000 words. …..................And I've still got another 279 pages to read. WTF is going to happen in the next 279 pages if it's taken 192 pages for a husband to walk out on a wife and a single person to get pregnant?

I'm determined to get to the end of this book, just so that I can say I've read a book in the last 50 years. (The last book I enjoyed was written by Enid Blyton??!)!

…........................But seriously? I reckon it's going to take me at least another 4-5 days to get to end of this book.

I know we're in lock-down and one has to experience new experiences, but at what point does one just give up and go back to their normal uncultured life???

I have absolutely no idea why I feel the need to read books when I haven't read a book in the last 50 years. There again I have absolutely no idea why I felt the need to buy chocolate cookie ice-cream two weeks ago when I never, ever buy ice cream.

And at the time of writing this post, I've actually not picked up the book for almost a week. I know we're in lock down but actually I don't care what happens in the next 279 pages. I know I said earlier that I was determined to get to the end of the book. But actually I'm not. What does it matter. Even though we are in lock down why on earth should I do something that I don't actually enjoy? And I don't actually enjoy reading books and I don't think I ever will!

Think I'll just stick to reading to magazines.

Friday 8 May 2020

Boris is due to announce on Sunday that lock down restrictions in England are to be lifted. No such announcement as far as I've heard, from Nicola. I will be very cross if England are released before Scotland.

Blog post 8 – Essential travel

So what would you consider to be 'essential travel'?

I consider 'essential travel' to be; going somewhere that you need to go that you aren't able to walk to. Ie, I actually don't need to go out in the car to do anything for myself. I have lots of local shops where I can buy food. And anything else I need, isn't actually essential.

However I am now doing a weekly shop for a couple of old people who live by themselves and have no local shops nearby. So once a week I go out in my car to a supermarket. I buy groceries for my two old people and at the same time I buy groceries for myself.

For more than six weeks that is the only place I have been in the car. Petrol is at an all time low but the last time I filled up my petrol tank was on 15^th March and it's not even at the half way mark yet.

But more than 6 weeks into lock down and there are definitely more cars on the roads. Are more people going back to work or are more people driving to places. Or is it because places like B&Q are open, so more people just going out?

Personally after 6 weeks in lock down, I still feel that people should not be going out in their cars unless it is absolutely necessary. And from my point of view, 'absolutely necessary', means going out to get food or medical prescriptions. Or going to work if one is a key worker.

It's only my opinion, but I don't actually think that going out to buy plants and paint and other DIY stuff is ESSENTIAL. Yes we all want to make our houses look beautiful and as we're all at home we have the time to do it, but peoples lives are at risk, and will be for quite a while yet. So why risk going out in a car, just to buy a tin of paint and in the process potentially infect, or become infected, by someone else?

This lock down thing is driving us all mad. We all want to get back to normal and do our normal things.

BUT......................... after 6 weeks in lock down.................... a lot of people seem to be living an almost a normal life. And it is sooooooo annoying for the rest of us who are trying to stick by the rules.

Even the buses are busier now than they were six weeks ago. Six weeks ago there was hardly any one waiting at bus stops and all the buses that passed by only seemed to have one or two people in them. Today I walked past a bus stop and there were 7 people waiting. And you can't tell me they were all key workers on their way to work. Two of them were definitely in their 70s, if not their 80s, and I'm sure they were just going to get on the bus and go out for the day for a little jolly. Yes this is happening because I know a couple of bus drivers and they have told me that older people are still boarding buses and sitting on them for a couple of hours or more at a time and not actually getting off or going anywhere. It shouldn't be allowed!

Oh and I walked my dog past one of my favourite dog walking places the other day but didn't go walking there because there were 16 cars parked at the entrance to where I wanted to go walking. It was like nothing had changed. People were driving less than 2 miles to walk their dogs or walk with their families or go jogging. WHY???

THAT IS NOT ESSENTIAL TRAVEL.

If you want to walk your dog or go for a bike ride or a jog or go for a little jolly with your kids; just do it from your home. Go out your front door, do a circular walk and then go home. Seriously.................... every single time you are going out in your car you risk having an accident and putting even more pressure on the already stretched NHS.

FFS just don't go out in your car unless you absolutely have to. Essential travel means just that........................ ESSENTIAL – what part of ESSENTIAL do some people not get??!!

Saturday 9 May 2020

47 days ago we were wearing padded anoraks and boots. It was cold! 47 days ago it was dark at 7.30pm. 47 days ago, lock down was for three weeks. We've already done more than double that. 47 days ago we were shopping in supermarkets without having to queue. 47 days ago we never envisaged that we would be totally isolated from our friends and family. Today we've been in lock down for almost 7 weeks. Today we're wearing shorts and Tshirts. Today it's 20C. Today we have to queue to go into shops and stand 2m away from anyone else. Today we haven't seen our friends and family for 47 days.

To be honest, I personally don't care about the restaurants/pubs re-opening, even though they are my main venue for socialising. I just want to be able to interact with my friends and family in real life. It's just not the same chatting on the phone or seeing them on a video link.

One bit of good news today.................. I got an email from my fitness club saying that for how ever many days we were in lock down, they would add that no of days onto my annual membership. Yay! Apparently they're also going to do some online classes but I'm not interested in that. Tried prancing around the living room on my own at the start of lock down. That lasted for about a week.

Blog post 9 – Takeaways

OK so it's now the 9^thMay 2020 and we've been in lock down for 47 days. Today I'm going to have a bit of a rant about 'takeaways'. Since when did 'takeaways' become an 'essential' reason for going out? Seriously.......... are we all now so bad at cooking that we can't actually make 'ourselves a burger or a pizza?

Is having a 'takeaway' really ESSENTIAL?

Hmmmmmm.................... I had this conversation with a friend about a week ago. She said that some people don't know how to cook. I said; everyone has the ability to put a ready meal into an oven or a microwave.

I totally get the thing that these small businesses need to keep going to survive, so obviously they are going to open if they can. People's livelihoods are at risk but so are people's lives.

Time and time again we are seeing posts on social media that are telling us that 'such & such' a takeaway is open for either delivery or pick-up.

WHY?????...................................................

Obviously these are only MY views but I personally do not think that eating 'takeaway food' is ESSENTIAL.

We are in the middle of a major pandemic crisis. STAY HOME. Go out to shop once a week. Buy a Chinese meal or an Indian Meal or a Pizza or whatever you want from the local supermarket and then just shove it in your oven/microwave and cook it. It's not rocket science???? The minute all these takeaway places open up, the minute people will leave their homes to go out to use them. Obviously the British Economy has to get back on it's feet, but SERIOUSLY............... is opening up all these takeaways really the way to go???? Just saying???

A photo popped up on my twitter feed a few days ago of a massive queue outside a burger bar and then loads of comments kept popping up saying the burgers there were crap not very tasty. ….............But still people queued and queued and queued. And the point of the article was; they weren't even 2m apart?!

I really do not understand why everyone feels the need to go out and get 'take away' food?!! Apart from the social distancing thing whilst queuing to pick up your pre-ordered takeaways.................. nobody seems to be worried about who else has touched the takeaway cartons of food. Or whether the people preparing/cooking these have been adhering to the proper guidelines.

It's really hard. I think we have become a nation of 'fast food' eaters. It's become the norm to buy 'ready made food' to eat. Even the people on the lowest of incomes can go to shops like Iceland and buy a packet of chicken nuggets & a bag of oven chips for £2-3 which will feed a family of 4. What incentive is there to cook anything from scratch and to use proper fresh food?

….............Might have to have a RANT about the cheapness and easiness of pre-prepared food at a later date. Lol!

I wouldn't exactly describe my self as 'Nigella' but at least I have the ability to stick a few things in the oven. And as for 'takeaways'.................... I personally certainly won't be using any of them any time in the near future.

Even coffee shops are open. Why are coffee shops open? Are people seriously not able to go out for their one bit of exercise a day without picking up a cup of coffee? Ie, I went on my normal dog walk a couple of days ago and the coffee shop at the entrance to my walk has re-opened and there was a long queue. WHY??? Having a cup of coffee & a bit of cake while out on a walk is NOT ESSENTIAL. And even if it was.................. why can't you just make your own coffee and cake at home and bring it with you?

And not only that................... the 'Drive Thru Costas' have now re-opened. WHY? It was reported on the local news that 20 cars were queuing and they had to wait 40 mins to get a coffee. These people could have driven home and made themselves half a dozen coffees in that time. What is so great about a Costa Coffee anyway?

I despair........... I for one want to get out of this lock down thing as soon as possible but I fear that there is a minority of idiots who are spoiling this for the majority of us who are actually trying our hardest to follow the rules.

Sunday 10 May 2020

Nicola has told us we can now go out to exercise for however long we think is necessary. Whoopee doo! I've been breaking the rules and doing that anyway.

Boris is making his statement at 7pm tonight about how restrictions are going to be lifted. Except it's not a statement for the whole of the UK. It's a statement for England.  Why is the whole of the UK (England, Ireland, Scotland & Wales) not working together?

Here in Scotland we're still locked down for the foreseeable future and rightly so as far as I'm concerned. Obviously I want to be released, but what I don't want, is for lock down to end too soon and then have to be re-introduced. The more I see Nicola Sturgeon out there facing her public, the more I admire her. Boris just seems to bumble about making things up as he goes along.

I still only go out in the car once a week when I'm doing Mrs Rs shop. I don't go out to buy DIY stuff or plants or a coffee because I don't consider those things to be essential. I'm trying really hard to follow all the rules because I want to get out of this lock down and get on with my life ASAP. It's just a pity that a lot of people now just seem to be doing their own thing.

There's loads of people breaking the rules and driving to somewhere to exercise or driving all the way across town because they prefer a particular supermarket. Or 'old people' (who should be isolation for 3 months) jumping on a bus and just sitting there for a couple of hours because they fancy going out for a little jolly.

However, I broke the rules myself today and went for a walk in the park this afternoon to meet a friend who is going to be 60 tomorrow. Gave her some flowers from the gang. Obviously once I'd handed them over we had to jump back 2m. No hugs, no celebratory glass of champagne, just, here you are, and a half hour walk around the park 2m apart. Doesn't actually adhere to having a private conversation does it? Not that anybody has anything to talk about because no body has done anything.

Blog post 10 – Video chats

Is anyone else getting really obsessed with all these video chats that every one seems to want to do? Personally if I have friends that I usually only talk to once every 3 months or so; I don't want to talk to them now. I want to stick to my normal routine of only talking to them every 3 months or so. After all if I only talk to them every 3 months or so in normal times, then they're not the closest of my friends, so I don't feel the need to speak to them any more now that we're in lock down.

The minute lock down was announced it was like the world had gone mad! All of a sudden everyone seemed to want to do video calls. There was Zoom and House Party (though that one seems to have died a death now) and Facetime & Whatsapp and Skype, etc, etc, etc.

Before we'd even done a week in lock down my two sisters sent me a message saying shall we do a 'Facetime' chat?!! We did. But why? We can go at least a couple of months without speaking to each other. And then a group of friends that I probably go out for a meal with about once a month (& we go on holidays together too) decided that we should have a 'WhatsApp video call every week. So every Sunday at noon we have a little chat together. It's nice. But is it necessary? We usually see each other once a month. Why do we feel the need to connect once a week now that we're in lock down.

It's like 'lock down' has turned everyone into a 'needy person' who has to connect to others via a video link so that they can actually see a real life person.

I live alone and I'm finding this 'lock down' thing really, really, hard but I don't feel the need to connect to my friends via a video link. I'd much rather just talk to them one to one on the phone. I find chatting on a video link with three or four people really difficult. It's like we're all just staring at each other all the time. And everyone talks over each other. In fact with one group of friends we've actually now got a rule; that if one of us wants to talk, one has to put ones hand up.

Personally I just want to see my friends in real life. However if they want to connect to me via a video type call then yes I will, because I love my friends and I want to keep them happy.

I'm 61 years old. I'm not a kid who has grown up with social media and who conducts the whole of my life online. Before lock down I read an article that said that the teenage pregnancy rate was the lowest it had been in the UK for years. And that was because the teens today were being romanced on line and weren't actually meeting up to have sex????

Anyway I digress.............................

Video chats....................... Much as I want to keep in touch with my friends. And much as I HATE being home alone during this lock down thing.................... I personally do not want to talk to friends via a video chat thingy.

For a start....................... I'm not one of these super duper people who has done all the jobs on their 'to do' list and gets up every morning at dawn to do the latest online workout from their home gym. Oh and that's another thing while I'm having a bit of a RANT about video calls......................

…....................During week one I logged into the live video thingy that my fitness club had set up and all of a sudden all these people on my FB page had joined in because apparently I was hosting a fitness party?? I have absolutely no idea how that happened. There I was lying on the rug in my living room in my Primark leggings & Tshirt and apparently the whole world was watching.

Loads and loads of comments kept popping up but I didn't know why. After about two mins I just closed down my laptop. And I've been far too scared to do any other live fitness class again because I really haven't got a clue what I'm doing.

….............And the other thing..................... while having all these video chats with friends................... should one make an effort and get all dressed up for the occasion?

Personally I don't get dressed up for the occasion. I haven't got dressed up for more than 6 weeks. If I didn't have a dog to take out a couple of times a day, I probably wouldn't even get dressed. Having said that, I always wear lipstick on the dog walk.

BUT as for video chats............................. I may not like them and I may not want to do them, but actually, I LOVE my friends so I'm more than happy to do whatever they want. It's not like I've got anything else to do is it?

Monday 11 May 2020

Seven weeks in lock down and here in Scotland the message is simple – 'Stay at home!'  Has anyone got any idea what is happening in England. Watched Boris's speech last night but does anyone even understand what he was saying? What a shambles?!

One of the things that I'm enjoying about lock down is the fact that I can walk on all the golf courses. It's my mission to walk on all of them by the time that lock down restrictions are lifted. They're great places to walk and I'm never going to get the chance to walk on them again. Can't believe I've just said that................... a positive aspect of lock down. Walked on Liberton Golf Course today.

Today I got a message from someone wanting to rent my house in Cornwall. All of the May bookings have been cancelled and as of yesterday the June bookings are starting to get cancelled too, which is only to be expected. Obviously I want to start taking bookings and make some money ASAP but the people that wanted to book wanted it at the beginning of June. I replied, saying that whilst I was happy to take the booking, if the restrictions hadn't been lifted, (and I'm pretty sure they won't be) then I would have to cancel it. They replied, asking if they could do it 'off the record' so to speak. Just what planet are these people on? I sent them a very curt message back saying, absolutely not because I didn't want to be responsible for anyone losing their life.

However, this poses another question. I could have made a lot of money out of these people, but morally I didn't think it was right. I'm pretty sure they will have found somewhere to stay for their normal two week holiday in Cornwall. Honestly some people seem to think that there's one rule for them and one rule for everyone else.

Blog post 11 – Stay alert

Did anyone else see that ridiculous speech that Boris made last night. Honestly I despair. I'm sure the whole nation is now more confused than ever. At least when we were being told to 'stay home' we knew what we had to do. What on earth does 'stay alert' mean? Anyway I can't take credit for the rules below because I didn't write them and I can't give credit to whoever did, because I have no idea where they originated from. However I thought it was apt to add them into my blog today.

1. You MUST NOT leave the house for any reason, but if you have a reason, you can leave the house.

2. Masks are useless at protecting you against the virus, but you may have to wear one because it can save lives, but they may not work, but they may be mandatory, but maybe not.

3. Shops are closed, except those shops that are open.

4. You must not go to work but you can get another job and go to work.

5. You should not go to the Doctor's or to the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you are too poorly to go there.

6. This virus can kill people, but don’t be scared of it. It can only kill those people who are vulnerable or those people who are not vulnerable. It’s possible to contain and control it, sometimes, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

7. Gloves won't help, but they can still help so wear them sometimes, or not.

8. STAY HOME, but it's important to go out.

9. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarkets, but there are many things missing. Sometimes you won’t need loo rolls but you should buy some just in case you need some.

10. The virus has no effect on children except those children it affects.

11. Animals are not affected, but there was a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

12. Stay 2 metres away from tigers (see point 11).

13. You will have many symptoms if you get the virus, but you can also get symptoms without getting the virus, get the virus without having any symptoms or be contagious without having symptoms, or be non contagious with symptoms...it's a sort of lucky/unlucky dip.

14. To help protect yourself you should eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand as it's better not to go to the shops, unless you need toilet roll or a fence panel.

15. It's important to get fresh air but don't go to parks but go for a walk. But don’t sit down, except if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant or if you’re not old or pregnant but need to sit down. If you do sit down don’t eat your picnic, unless you've had a long walk, which you are/aren't allowed to do if you're old or pregnant.

16. Don’t visit old people but you have to take care of the old people and bring them food and medication.

17. If you are sick, you can go out when you are better but anyone else in your household can’t go out when you are better unless they need to go out.

18. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house. These deliveries are safe. But groceries you bring back to your house have to be decontaminated outside for 3 hours including frozen pizza.

19. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but they can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

20. You are safe if you maintain the safe social distance when out but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours ... or four hours...or six hours... I mean days, not hours. But it needs a damp environment. Or a cold environment that is warm and dry... in the air, as long as the air is not plastic.

22. Schools are closed so you need to home educate your children, unless you can send them to school because you’re not at home. If you are at home you can home educate your children using various portals and virtual class rooms, unless you have poor internet, or more than one child and only one computer, or you are working from home. Baking cakes can be considered maths, science or art. If you are home educating you can include household chores within their education. If you are home educating you can start drinking at 10am.

23. If you are not home educating children you can also start drinking at 10am

24. The number of corona related deaths will be announced daily but we don't know how many people are infected as they are only testing those who are almost dead to find out if that's what they will die of. The people who die of corona who aren’t counted, won’t or will be counted but maybe not.

25. We should stay in, locked down until the virus stops infecting people but it will only stop infecting people if we all get infected so it’s important we get infected and some don’t get infected.

26. You can join your neighbours for a street party and turn your music up for an outside disco and your neighbours won’t call the police. People in another street are allowed to call the police about your music whilst also having a party which you are allowed to call the police about.

27. No business will go down due to Coronavirus except those businesses that will go down due to Coronavirus

Tuesday 12 May 2020

Blog post 12 – Holiday homes

I own a second home that I rent out through Airbnb. Airbnb often doesn't get very good press but actually quite early on, they adopted the policy, that they would give any visitors who had booked properties for occupation during 'lock down' a full refund. As far as I was concerned that was the correct thing to do. Fortunately for me the people who had already booked my property for the end of March, April & May all decided to cancel themselves so it wasn't like I had to be the 'bad guy' and tell them they couldn't come. They all got their money back in full.

My second home is located in an major tourist hotspot and it would seem that not all other letting platforms/agencies adopted the same policy. If the Facebook groups in the area are to be believed, many holiday lets still continued to operate and visitors (certainly at the beginning of lock down) continued to arrive. The locals in the area became very hostile and very insulting comments regularly appeared on the FB pages telling visitors to go home. This has resulted in many visitors retaliating by saying that they will never, ever visit the area again. The whole situation became so nasty that I actually stopped reading the FB posts.

Anyway eventually the 'stay at home' message from the government finally got through and for the last few weeks the FB posts have been full of locals posting photos of the area and full of comments from visitors saying, 'thank you for showing us these lovely pictures every day'. So perhaps there may be a chance that the tourism industry can be saved.

Fast forward to today, the 12^th May 2020, and after Boris's confusing speech on Sunday night, it would seem that people are now trying to sneak back into the holiday homes, even though the restrictions on these have not been lifted.

According to government guidelines, Section 1.9.............Are day trips and holidays OK? Can people stay in second homes?

.....................................'Day trips to outdoor open space, in a private vehicle, are permitted. You should practise social distancing from other people outside your household.'

'Leaving your home – the place you live – to stay at another home for a holiday or other purpose is not allowed. This includes visiting second homes.'

'Premises such as hotels and bed and breakfasts will remain closed, except where providing accommodation for specific reasons set out in law, such as for critical workers where required for a reason relating to their work.'

Yesterday I had an enquiry from someone wishing to book my property at the beginning of June. Airbnb have dis-enabled the instant book facility and now visitors have to request to book somewhere. This, I think, is a sensible decision, because it gives both the owner and the holiday maker a chance for more interaction. Anyway I replied saying that I was more than happy to accept the booking on the understanding that should the restrictions not be lifted by then (which I very much doubt they will be) the booking would be cancelled and a full refund would be given. I immediately got a reply back asking if they could come and stay any way and just do it 'off the record' so to speak. Seriously?! Just what planet do these people think they are on? Obviously I responded by saying, 'Absolutely not, I don't want to be responsible for anyone losing their life!' …............And I didn't hear anything else from them. No message to say that they totally understood that trying to go on holiday would be risking everyone's lives. And no message to even say thank you to me for answering their query. I suspect that these ignorant people will just continue to try to book a holiday at the beginning of June. And these are the stupid, stupid people who are putting everyone's lives at risk. I despair!!!

However, the point of this blog is.................... I bet they're not the only stupid people who are trying to do something like this. I'm just one person out of thousands that rent out their home in a tourist hotspot. And I bet that some holiday home owners will just accept the booking. And it's the selfish people like this that are putting every body's lives at risk. I would have loved to have ignored the government advice and taken this booking. I have no income coming in and a two week booking in June would have netted me quite a substantial amount. But morally I can't do that.

We all want to get out of this situation as soon as possible, but by flouting the rules, as usual; it's the minority who are spoiling it for the majority of us who are doing our very best to keep ourselves and everyone else safe.

The message is clear.................. going on holiday at the moment is not allowed and until the restrictions regarding this have been lifted, I for one, will not be allowing anyone to stay in my home.

Wednesday 13 May 2020

Blog post 13 – Beggars/homeless people

I live in a city. There are a lot of homeless people and beggars that in normal times are out and about in my local area. The beggars seem to have their own spots where they sit. They mainly sit outside the supermarkets, although some sit outside the bigger charity shops like Oxfam. They all have little cardboard signs that say they have fallen on hard times and have children to support and are just trying to raise a few pounds to pay for a hostel for the night. I've been told that there's a bit of a 'turf war going on within the begging community. Ie, they all seem to have their own little spot that they like to sit in and woe betide any one else who comes along and sits in that spot.

A few years ago every time I went to Waitrose I collected my 'free coffee' (because if you had a Waitrose card you could get a free coffee & newspaper every time you did a shop) and I gave it to the beggar who was always sitting outside the store. ….......Until one day I went out of the shop and she actually had 3 coffee's sitting there waiting to be drunk. …..........And as one now has to take one's own cup to get the free coffee, the beggars no longer get a free coffee from me. BUT actually, the so called beggar, that I was providing coffee for, 4 years ago is still there. (Well, she was until lock down).Still sitting outside Waitrose and still expecting the high class Waitrose customers to throw her a few measley scraps lot of money.

However I think there's a bit of a difference between beggars & homeless people.

In normal times in my local area there are a lot of beggars. And by beggars, I mean the people who have their own patch outside the shops in my neighbourhood. They sit there day in, day out with their cardboard signs saying that they have fallen on hard times and have children to support. Some of these people have actually been here, sitting in the same spot, for 4 years or more. And if they've got the commitment to do this, then why don't they just go and get a job? The only reason I can think of is because it's actually quite profitable for them not to.

I actually see these people arriving by bus at 8am, while I'm out walking the dog, every single day. I don't know where they live. But they jump off the No. 11 bus every morning and plonk themselves down in their spots.

BUT.................. the homeless people are very, very different from the beggars. The homeless people are the ones that really need help. The homeless people are the ones who wander around carrying a few plastic bags containing all their worldly belongings with them. They're not begging. They're just wandering about aimlessly because they have no where else to go. However they're all also congregating on the pavements in sunny spots to drink their cans of cheap lager. They have nothing else to do. I'd probably be doing the same if I was homeless. What else do they have to look forward to?

After one week in lock down all these homeless people and beggars had disappeared off the streets. Apparently, if the news is to be believed, they'd been re-homed in empty airbnb's and hotels?? After two weeks they'd all reappeared. Not really quite sure why because no one had any spare cash. No one in fact was actually carrying any cash with them because 99% of the shops were only accepting card payments. So after three weeks they'd all gone again. And now I haven't seen any of them for about 4 weeks.

Looking at the homeless people and the beggars from the view point of me..................... a middle class single ranting spinster.................. I have a few things to say about this. I may be right. I may not. To be honest I probably don't have enough knowledge to rant about anything on this subject. But this blog is how I see things from my point of view....................

The beggars, in my area, the ones who (pre-Covid 19) arrive every morning on the No. 11 bus and sit outside their preferred shop and have obviously got the commitment to be there because the same one's have been there for 4 years to my knowledge. And I'm probably going to sound like a 'middle class' busy body here; but; if they've got the commitment to do that, then why don't they just go and get a job? …...........Probably because they can make more begging than they can in a minimum wage job??!!

The so called 'homeless people' in my area are not actually homeless. I know this because I have a friend who works with them. They may all sit around during the day drinking their cans of lager in sunny spots on the street but at night they all have a room to go home to in a hostel.

Anyway the point of this blog is....................... it's very strange wandering around the streets and not seeing the beggars/homeless people. I can't help wondering where they all are and what they are all doing. I know we've all got to 'stay at home' but if you're used to spending most of your life out on the street how on earth are these people going to cope cooped up indoors?

It will be really interesting to see if they re-appear once the lock down restrictions are lifted.

Thursday 14 May 2020

Had a socially distanced walk around Ravelston Golf Course and Murrayfield Golf Course with my friend, K. I walked from the other side of town to get there. She lives about a mile away and came in the car. Enough said?!

Blog post 14 – Public toilets

Now that Boris has spoken and we're all allowed to travel how ever far we want to exercise, the latest topic of conversation that seems to be popping up on all the Facebook pages of the tourist hotspots, is the fact that public toilets are still closed. Within about an hour of someone posting the question, 'Why aren't the toilets open?', there's about 150 comments and I have to say a lot of them are very negative and aggressive towards the day visitors who want to use them. However, although I never comment on these type of posts, I feel that this is my blog and so I thought I'd put forward my point of view.

Firstly, we all know that Boris's speech on Sunday evening re the lifting of lock down was a complete shambles which threw up more questions than answers. My interpretation was..............Boris wasn't telling us all to go out for hours on end. He was telling us if we wanted to, we could. Most shops/leisure facilities are still closed so why would toilets be any different? We're still in the middle of a major pandemic (Scotland & Wales are still in lock down) and we're going to have to do this social distancing thing for a long, long time yet. How on earth do you social distance in public toilets?

Secondly should public toilets re-open they would all need a permanent member of staff employed for the duration of the time the toilets were open to manage the queues and utilise extra cleaning procedures. After all, you usually only know if all the cubicles are occupied once you have actually walked into the toilet building so what are you going to do if you get in there and have to wait? Stand right outside one of the cubicles and wait for someone to come out? You're hardly going to be 2m away from another person in that situation are you? Obviously I'm talking from a female point of view here. .................It might be slightly easier to close off every second urinal in the men's toilets, a bit like closing off every alternate self check out in the supermarket. Lol.

And if all the comments on the Facebook posts are to be believed, a large percentage of the population think that public toilets are disgusting, dirty places where germs are harboured in normal times. You can just imagine all the negative comments that would be popping up on Facebook if the toilets were to re-open.

Personally I think that the toilets should remain closed. And this is only my opinion, but if you can't go out for more than an hour without needing to go to the toilet then you shouldn't be going out for longer. It's not a necessity that you go out on a little jolly to a tourist hot spot. Just stay home. Just because Boris said you can drive as far as you want (as long as you return to your home the same day), doesn't mean that you should do that if you're going to need to go to the toilet every hour. And before I get a deluge of comments that say that some people have medical issues and need to go more often........................... yes, I understand that and in normal circumstances it would be totally acceptable to expect to be able to go to the toilet while you were out. But these are not normal circumstances. We're months and months away from getting back to normal. In fact life will probably never get back to what we considered normal before Covid-19 arrived in our lives.

Today I walked for four hours with my dog. And when I say 'walked' that's what I mean. I walked continuously for four hours. I didn't stop for a rest, I didn't stop to eat or drink, or buy a coffee and I didn't need to use a toilet when I was out. Oh and that's another thing...................... perhaps if everyone stopped thinking that it was essential to buy a coffee, or take a bottle of water with them, on the dog walk; then perhaps people wouldn't need to go to the toilet quite so often. Just saying.

Friday 15 May 2020

Broke the rules again today and met my friend, S, on the Meadows for a socially distanced 'sit on a bench'. We devised a very clever cunning plan. Normally we would meet for dinner and a few glasses of wine, so this afternoon we filled our re-usuable coffee cups with wine and sat 2m apart on a bench in the middle of the Meadows. In Scotland you're still not allowed to sit down during your exercise so we'd organised it so that from our vantage point we could see if any police were approaching to move us on. There didn't seem to be any police around today.

And here we are.................... another Friday evening. Same old, same old. It's all getting a bit monotonous now. Let's hope it's all worth it and we're still alive next year.

Blog post 15 – Pets

If anyone asked me what I like most about lock down, I would say; my dog. I cannot even contemplate how my life would be if I didn't have my little furry friend to look after. She gives me a reason to get up and get dressed every day and she gives me a reason to go out. I know everyone in the world seemed to go a bit mad when they were told they could go out and do exercise once a day but for me; I don't think I would have bothered. I love walking with my dog but I don't really see the point of walking by myself and I certainly wouldn't have been one of these fitness fanatics that have taken up jogging and cycling. No................ if I didn't have my dog I probably wouldn't even get out of bed some days.

For a single person, owning a pet in lock down is a lifesaver. I'm a 'dog' person and I am so grateful to have an 'essential' reason to go out. However quite a few of my friends are 'cat' people and even though they can't go out for a walk with their cat, just having another living creature in the house with them in these times of isolation is a real comfort.

I even have a couple of friends who own hens and the joy they get from the routine of feeding them and collecting the eggs is immense.

That's why I don't really understand all these reports about animal neglect and abandonment that seem to be popping up all over the internet. Apparently the RSPCA are really busy.

To me my dog is part of my family. Actually she is my family because the only other family I have are hundreds of miles away. But to get rid of a family pet? I just don't understand what makes someone do this.

I totally understand that pets are expensive. And in these hard times a lot of families don't have any money coming in. I don't have any money coming in. But if you really, really, didn't have the ability to care for your pet, through no fault of your own, surely you would look into re-homing your pet in the very best way possible. You wouldn't just open your front door and let it go out to fend for itself. Would you?

It seems like a lot of people would, and as far as I am concerned these are the people that shouldn't have pets in the first place. Would these people do the same with their children?

However it would seem that not being able to afford to keep a pet any longer is not the only reason why people are getting rid of their furry friends. It would seem (if all the posts on FB & Google News are to be believed) that some people are so scared that they are going to catch Covid-19 off their pets that they are actually abandoning them through fear. Again I would say.................... would you do this to your child?

Desperate times, means desperate measures, but to neglect and abandon a living creature (when there's so many options available should you not want it any more) is just downright cruel as far as I'm concerned.

Oh and while I'm on the subject of 'pets'........................ a lot of people seem to think that getting a pet during lock down is the way to go. They seem to think that having a dog to take out will encourage them to exercise more. Or getting a puppy or a kitten now is a good thing because they are at home all day to train it. Unfortunately most people don't seem to realise that puppies & kittens grow up to be dogs & cats and need commitment for all of their lives (approx 15 years) and not just for the time we are in lock down. What is going to happen to all these dogs and cats (who are probably going to be named Cora or Rona) when their humans go back to work and they haven't been trained to stay home alone? And also, how on earth can you socialise these animals with other animals & humans when we're all being told to stay 2m apart?

To be honest I do have a couple of friends who have actually acquired puppies during lock down, but these particular people had already signed up to get a dog before lock down was in place and had a normal training programme all ready for their new addition. One friend works from home and has a big garden so new puppy should adapt to his life easily. The other puppy has two owners with flexible work patterns so training him and leaving him home alone had been all worked out. Until lock down....................... and now 5 month old puppy has both his owners at home 24/7. It's going to be really hard to train him to stay home alone once his owners go back to work.

Even my dog (who is now 18 months old), has had me at home with her 24/7 for more than 7 weeks. The only time I leave her, is once a week when I go out and do a shop for an old person and even then it's only for an hour or so. I worked really hard last year training her to stay home alone. I adopted her when she was three months old (she was found in a hedge, no microchip etc) and I'm now worried  that all my hard work re training last year is going to fall apart. We've not been out in the car for more than 2 months. Is she going to hate the car when we're eventually able to go out for a non-essential journey? It's all these things that people hoping to get a 'lock-down' pet should be thinking about. But sadly they're not!

Anyway those are my views on pets.

Saturday 16 May 2020

Walked 13.6 miles today. In Scotland we still can't drive to exercise but a walk from our house and back to our house is OK as long as we stay local. Not quite sure how far is defined as 'local'. The rules are very confusing.

Blog post 16 – Essential shopping

This morning on the dog walk I walked past Waitrose at 7.40am and there were 17 'old people' in the queue waiting for the shop to open at 8am. Now whilst I totally agree with the rules that stores should have a designated time for the old & vulnerable to shop, I'm not quite sure if I agree that they should all be in a queue on a Saturday morning before the shop is even open. I know for a fact that most of the people in this queue are also in the queue every other day of the week. I walk past Waitrose at pretty much the same time every morning. These so called 'old' people don't actually seem to have got the fact that they're only supposed to go out for essential shopping and essential doesn't mean every single day. I have absolutely no idea what they are buying every day. One of my neighbours, who is in her late 70s (or possibly even in her 80s) treks off to Waitrose every single day at 8am and always returns with two bags of shopping. What on earth is she buying every day? It obviously can't be all fresh food because no way would her and her husband be able to eat 2 bagfuls of fresh food in 24 hours. So I can only guess that she is stock-piling toilet rolls & tinned food. Or maybe her spare room is full of pasta. Lol!

I totally understand that 'old' people like to stick to their normal routine. Though I must admit I've always wondered why they actually need to shop on a Saturday morning, but I'm guessing it's a throwback to when they worked and only had the weekends to shop.

I'm very lucky that in my local area I have a lot of shops that I can walk to. Waitrose, M&S, Tesco Express, Sainsbury's Local, plus a couple of bakers and zillions of coffee shops that are open for takeaway coffees.

When lock down was first announced, my intention was to 'shop local' and not use the car at all because I was trying to be a law abiding citizen. But then I offered to do shopping for 'old' people so now I shop weekly for an old lady who lives 2-3 miles away from me. She lives equal distances away from a biggish Tesco, Morrisons and Aldi so because Tesco was the supermarket I was most familiar with I thought I would do her weekly shop there and also do mine at the same time. Famous last words.

I do a shop for her on a Wednesday morning because it was a Wednesday that I started shopping for her and as I said earlier, old people like to have a routine. I don't do the shop at Tesco. Tesco always has a queue right up the side of the building and around the car park. Morrisons isn't quite as bad but there's always a queue there too. Aldi never has a queue at the time that I go. And whereas pre-lock down, Aldi was just a supermarket that I popped into if they had a special offer on for say plants; now it has become my favourite shop. I LOVE Aldi.

I know a lot of people say you can't actually do a 'proper' shop in Aldi and they don't have many branded items, but I'm not a snob, and because I live by myself I can cope with not having branded goods in lock down and adapt my shop accordingly. And the old lady that I shop for, mainly just wants fruit & yogurts & bread & milk & stuff like that (because her daughter orders all her main meals on line for her) so it works for me.

I actually manage to do a whole weeks shop at Aldi so hardly ever need to pop to the local shops to do a 'top up' shop unless I run out of wine. Lol!

However after talking to friends and family, essential shopping actually has me confused about a couple of things.......................

The first thing I don't understand is why would you stand outside a supermarket in a massive queue when less than half a mile up the road there is another one with no queue at all. The only reason I can think of is that people are snobs! I was talking to my sister about this and she said that her husband really liked 'Hagen Das' ice-cream and Aldi didn't sell it so she couldn't do a full shop there. FFS, we're in the middle of a major pandemic. Is what brand of ice-cream one eats really an essential reason to be out longer than one needs to be? I compare this to the fact that I like wine and there is a particular type of wine that I buy from Tesco that I love. However, because I am now shopping at Aldi I am more than happy to buy my wine at Aldi because it saves me from going to more than one shop and by doing that I feel I am doing my bit in helping to save lives.

The second thing I don't really understand is the term 'essential shopping'. To me 'essential shopping' means buying food you need to survive on for a week. When you compare 'lock down' to rationing during the war there is no comparison. In the war everyone had 'ration books' and could only buy a certain amount of each thing. Now we have unlimited access to what I would call treats. Ie, I don't need wine and my sister's husband doesn't need Hagen Das ice-cream. But still people feel the need to go out and buy these so called essentials when they're not actually going out to buy 'real' essentials and so are risking coming into contact with more people.

I have to admit I am guilty of this. As I said above, if I run out of wine, I have no qualms about popping out to the local shop to get another bottle. It's not essential and in my opinion, I shouldn't be doing it. However, unlike during the war (when 'mental health' didn't seem to be an issue), everybody just seems to be harping on about mental health these days and saying that what is 'essential' for one person may totally affect their mental health if they don't have access to it. Hmmmmm.............. I'm not sure that I agree with that. I may have to do a post about my thoughts on mental health at a later date.

Anyway those are my thoughts for today and now I'm off to have a non-essential glass of wine. Cheers.

Sunday 17 May 2020

Walked on Bruntsfield Links Golf Course today, (which is no where near Bruntsfield Links) and then walked around Silverknowles Golf Course. There was a no 16 bus waiting at the terminus at Silverknowles and I was really tempted to jump on it, but I didn't because walking the dog and getting tired cannot be considered to be essential travel.

Walked 13.9 miles today. Tired now.

Blog post 17 – Domestic Abuse

So as the news is filled with nothing but Covid-19 information it is very easy to forget what is going on in the rest of the world. I wonder what would be in the news if we didn't have this deadly disease to keep us occupied. After all it wasn't that long along ago that all anyone could talk about was Brexit?!! And now all anyone seems to want to talk about is Covid-19. No one seems to care about anything else. Certainly nothing else seems to be getting reported.

And one of the main things that is on the increase in these times of lock down is domestic abuse. It may not be reported every day but I've just read an article(I think it popped up on my google news feed) that said that the calls to domestic abuse help lines have risen by 25% in the last few weeks. Also I have a friend who works with the police and apparently most of their work at the moment is dealing with domestic incidents.

As a single female living alone in a spacious 2 bedroom flat with a balcony, it's easy to forget how hard life is for others. I absolutely hate not being able to see friends and family. However I am not cooped up in a 2 bedroom flat with children or even a partner. I can do what I want. Well, obviously I can't because none of us can just now. My balcony is small. There's only room for a couple of people on it but as there's only me, that's fine. Fortunately for the last few weeks the weather has been lovely so I've resigned myself to sitting out there with a magazine.

However, just imagine living in a 2 bedroom flat (without even a balcony/outdoor space) with children and an abusive partner. Being cooped up for almost 8 weeks is enough to drive anyone to breaking point. How on earth do these people cope?

Domestic abuse victims lose their own self worth and confidence in normal times because their so called loving partners gradually eat away at any source of self belief that they may have. Can you imagine what it must be like if they're now with their abusive partner 24/7?

A 25% rise in call to Domestic Abuse help lines is a massive increase. And the worrying thing is; that's probably only the tip of the ice berg. I bet there are loads of people not reporting this type of thing through fear of worrying that it is not essential in these times of Covid-19. And as the UK now reports the highest related deaths from Covid-19 in Europe, nothing seems to be reported about the number of deaths that have occurred during lock down because of domestic abuse.

It's very, very, easy in these difficult times to live in one's own little bubble. I remember a couple of weeks into lock down and 'Dr Hilary' on the 'Good Morning Britain' Show said, 'We're now at the stage where everyone will know someone who has Coronavirus or will know someone who has died from it'. I didn't. And I still don't. I've spoken to people who think they might have had it, but to be honest these particular people are hypochondriacs anyway so they might have, they might not. As we're not being tested, how on earth do we know whether a common cold is Coronavaris or not?

The point of the above paragraph is to emphasise that just because your life is progressing, albeit probably not how you would want it to be................. there are thousands, if not millions, of people in this country that are silently suffering every single day. There are people who may even be dying.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for the victims of domestic abuse. For the children as well, they're probably being subjected to seeing things that no kids ever should see.  There's vile abusers who now actually have a valid reason for keeping their partners trapped indoors,  It must be like a living hell. And the other thing.......................... because all the kids are at home; theres no escape.

Lock down is hard. We all have our own story to tell. Fortunately my story is not very interesting. Unfortunately, I fear that a lot of victims of domestic abuse may not even live to tell their story.

Monday 18 May 2020

Went to the park this afternoon and there were 75 cars waiting to go through the traffic lights at Greenbank. Admittedly there were roadworks, but 75 cars? Seriously! We're still in lock down. Were all these drivers really on essential travel? Everyone seems to be breaking the rules, left, right and centre. Morningside Road seemed to be busier than it is in normal times. When lock down first started I could have done the whole of the dog walk in the middle of the road.

It's very hard to understand what is essential and what isn't. Today in the park, some of the trees had been chopped down. Can chopping down trees be considered essential? Unless of course the trees were in danger of falling down and killing someone, which I don't think these particular trees were.

Blog post 18 – Free on-line courses

Has anyone else noticed that in these times of lock down all the on-line study centres are cashing in on the bored people at home? I've lost count of the number of different companies who have adverts popping up on my FaceBook or Instagram page advertising 'free courses'. There is nothing 'free' about any of these courses.

They reel people in with advertising slogans such as, 'Learn a new skill for free' or 'Free courses during lock down'. What a complete farce!! I have tried to sign up with at least four different companies to 'learn a new skill for free'.

I thought that as I was stuck at home with nothing to do all day I would do a 'free' online pet first aid course. Loads of on-line study centres seemed to be offering this. I'm not particularly interested in getting a professional qualification but all of the courses that I looked at, had blurb on their websites to say that their courses were accredited to this, that and the next professional body. As a 61 year old who hasn't taken an exam in years, non of this interested me, so I didn't pursue what exactly the type of further education one could go on to do after completing one of these courses was. I just wanted to do an on-line course because I was bored. And let's face it; if someone is offering 'free' courses why wouldn't you sign up to do something that interests you? It's not like any of us have got anything else to do.

Big mistake............................

I've tried signing up for at least four of these so-called 'free' on-line courses. There is absolutely nothing 'free' about them at all.

What they do is........................ they ask you to complete a really long application form for your so called 'free' course and then, when you get to the very last part of the application form, all of a sudden you are told that the 'free' course isn't actually 'free'. It's only 'free' for the first month. But they tell you this in such a way that most people probably wouldn't even realise that they are being told this. Thank goodness I'm such a savy 61 year old. Lol. So when you're asked to add your credit card details with a big message saying that you are free to cancel at anytime, most people will. And then before you know it you're tied into a 24/36 month contract of paying at least £30 per month to an online course that you didn't even want to do in the first place. Yes you've have signed up to a 'free' course for a month but these unscrupulous companies work on the assumption that no-one will read the 'small print'.

And...................... if one is savvy enough to actually abandon the application form at this point; for weeks and weeks afterwards, one is inundated with emails (because giving one's email address is at the start of the application form) saying, 'You have not completed your application. Please click here to claim your FREE course'.

Fortunately I have had enough sense not to sign up to one of these courses.

However, in these times of lock-down, we're all bored, so learning a new skill or learning more about something that one is interested in is very tempting. And when one sees an advert on their social media pages offering a 'free' course, obviously people are going to sign up to it.

My advice to you would be.............................. If it's free, it's free. If you have to add your credit/debit card details to a 'free' course then it's obviously NOT free!!!

Tuesday 19 May 2020

Went on another mammoth walk. 14.2 miles. Had a bit of a scary encounter at one point. Was walking along the Old Innocent Train Walkway when I spotted a group of 11 teenage boys (yes there was definitely 11 because I counted them) just hanging around by one of the seats, smoking who knows what, and shouting obscenities at anyone who dared to walk by. They were quite threatening. I was worried that Trixie the Collie pup would go over to them because she is super friendly and wants to say hello to everyone. Then they would capture her and hold her to ransom. Yes, I have got an overactive imagination.

However these are the groups of people that the police should be moving on. Not a single elderly person who has sat down because they're feeling a bit tired. 11 teenage boys obviously aren't all from the same family. As usual there wasn't a policeman in sight. No doubt they were all down on Portobello Prom moving people on who were sitting in the sunshine.

Blog post 19 – Home schooling

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it must be for families with young children, or even teenagers for that matter, to be cooped up at home all day, every day for more than 8 weeks. With all schools closed it is now up to parents to home school their youngsters.

Apparently teachers are setting work on line and according to the teachers that I've spoken to, about half the kids are completing this work. However, it has to be said that the home environment must have a huge impact on how children learn at home.

I have two friends that to my mind are perfect examples of how home schooling should be done in the ideal world. Both are happily married and live in a house with a garden. One of my friends has a little girl who is 7 years old. The other has two children aged 3 & 5 years old. Both of my friends have husbands who have continued to work through the lock down process. That leaves my friends' to deal with the home schooling by themselves. And what a fantastic job they are doing.

Both of my friends' have devised a very structured outline to the Monday – Friday week that they do not deviate from. It goes something like this: Keep fit with Joe Wicks, arts & crafts, baking, working on a topic that interests them, (ie the 7 year old chooses a different country each week and uses the internet to find out different facts. My other friend seems to constantly be searching her garden for slugs & snails for a mini-beast project!), Reading, doing the on line work set by the school, going out for a daily walk or bike ride, etc, etc. And then at the weekends when 'daddy' is at home they camp out overnight in the garden or have family picnics in the garden.

To my mind these children are young enough to enjoy all these activities and I'm sure in years to come they will remember 2020 as the year when they spent happy times at home doing exciting activities with their families.

But what of the children that don't live in a house with a garden or have parents that are financially secure to spend their days creating memories for their offspring?

If you are a single parent that lives in a high rise flat with a large family cooped into a very small space how on earth is it even possible to live in any type of comfort, let alone even begin to teach your children at home. If say a single parent is trapped in a small flat with three or four children and has no idea where they are going to get the money for the next meal, do you really think that 'home schooling' will feature high on their list of priorities? For these parents life is just a matter of trying to get through each day by whatever means are possible. Their focus is on surviving.

I personally think that by the time the children do return to school there's going to be a massive difference in their abilities. This in turn will result in teacher's having a much harder job than normal as they struggle to teach a class full of children who have all experienced lock down differently. How are the teachers even going to begin to assess what the children have learned. For example, some parents may have spent the whole of lock down pushing their kids academically, so much so, that these children will return to school, months if not even years academically ahead of their peer group. And then there will be the kids who, like my friends kids, have experienced a wide range of activities and learnt things about the environment that they would never have had the time to do under normal life. And of course there will also be the kids who have pretty much just sat in front of a TV for the whole of lock down.

It would seem that there are now a lot of adverts popping up on the TV telling parents just to take each day one day at a time. In these days of social media it must be awful for the parents who aren't coping, or who can't afford to keep going on line to buy stuff to keep their kids amused, to see what they perceive to be the 'perfect parent with the perfect children' popping up constantly on their Facebook or Instagram pages.

Life in lock down is hard for all of us but I have to say I am very grateful that I just have myself to think about. Constantly worrying about about your child's education must add so much pressure onto some families, especially if they never did very well at school themselves.

And to end this post, I'll just say, in the words of the latest TV advert: 'Don't be too hard on yourselves; being there for your kids is all that matters right now.'

Wednesday 20 May 2020

I've been sitting on the balcony for most of today. The weather has been glorious. I'm really lucky to have this little outdoor area of peace and tranquillity. I just keep thinking of all the single mothers who are trapped in flats with kids. I might feel as though I'm in prison but at least I have got my flat all to myself with a little area where I can get outside.

Blog post 20 – Technology

One of the positives that has come out of this lock down thing is the fact that I have been forced to learn how to use self service check outs. I've been forced to learn how to make video calls. And I've been forced to learn how to watch a live video streaming show that has popped up on my Face Book page.

Before lock down I had absolutely no interest in any of this. If I'm honest I still don't but I've been forced to move with the times.

My local little Tesco doesn't have any check out operators, operating at all. They are only using the self service check outs so I had no choice but to face my fears and do it anyway. In normal times I avoid self service check outs like the plague. Technology scares me. It's like venturing into the unknown and I feel like such a failure because I haven't a clue how it works. I worry that I might press a wrong button and cause the whole system to crash. Indeed on the very rare occasions when I've attempted to use a self service check out before, I've failed dismally. I always seem to end up waiting ages for someone to come and rescue me. Or waiting for someone to check that I'm over 18 years old because I'm buying alcohol. So I just don't do it. I'd far rather wait in a queue to be served by a real live person than attempt to use a self check-out. As one of my older friends once said, 'I didn't go to university for three years to become a check out girl.' However as we all now know, it's these supermarket workers that are keeping the country running. It doesn't matter how many university degrees one has, it's the minimum wage key workers that are helping to save lives right now.

Buying self service petrol is another thing I don't do. I never opt for the 'pay at pump' option. I always go into the shop. I'm not quite sure what's happening in petrol stations these days because I haven't filled up my car since 15^thMarch and I'm not even at the half way mark yet. However having said that, I might always opt to go into the shop to pay for petrol but my 20 year old niece recently revealed that she didn't know how to buy petrol by going into the shop. I don't even think that she realised that that was an option???!!!

Oh and while we're on the subject of buying stuff; I haven't actually paid for anything using cash since lock down began. In normal times I always used to carry cash with me. I used cash if I was out with my friends because we would have a 'kitty' for our drinks and food. And I certainly would never have dreamt of paying for anything less than £10 with a card. I remember once going into Waitrose for some cheese and the hand basket queue stretched for miles so I decided to use the self-service check-out. Scanned the cheese and then couldn't work out where to put the money so had to wait for someone to rescue me. Only to be told it was card only. Seriously??!! Just for a lump of cheese.

For the last 2 months I have used cards for everything. Even when I went into the newsagent to buy a TV mag which cost 65p I used my card. Which brings me to the next problem................. How do you keep track of what you're spending if you don't actually get a paper receipt? Nobody these days seems to want a receipt and the shop keepers certainly look at me as if I'm a bit mad if I ask for one but apart from checking my account on line every 2 mins, I just don't understand how you know what you've spent if you don't get a receipt. I asked my 24 year nephew this question and he said he gets alerts sent to his phone once a week. Hmmmmmm.............. I don't really understand that. I tend to check my accounts once a week but if I didn't have a paper receipt to check off against my statement how on earth could I remember what I'd spent? Especially if I'm using my card for silly little amounts like a 65p TV magazine.

Anyway, moving swiftly on to 'video chats' which is another aspect of technology which I think is very clever but I really don't want to participate in. Because of lock down I've been forced to join in with this craze but to be honest I really don't want to. I may feel differently if I had friends or family in a faraway country or if I'd just had my first grandchild etc but I'm a 61 year old woman who has managed to live for 61 years alone OK obv not the whole of my 61 years and I just don't see the obsession that everyone has with needing to see people while they're having a chat. I hate it. I do it because my friends seem to think it's a necessity but I certainly don't initiate the calls and I have absolutely no desire to learn how to. However, I am now techy enough to answer one of these calls and participate in it. But I'm hoping that once lock down is over and all the restrictions are lifted, I'll be able to go back to having normal phone conversations with friends and be able to meet them in real life.

Lastly........................ live online videos like classes from my fitness club or music gigs. I guess this type of technology is what interests me most because I can just watch it if I want or if I don't then I don't have to.

Having said that, the first time I attempted to do a live online fitness class................. all of a sudden all my friends on Facebook started liking my post and joining in a 'live party' that I had invited them all too. I have absolutely no idea how I'd done that but everyone was commenting on the party that I was hosting. But, I had no idea how I'd even ended up hosting a party. After two mins I shut down my laptop because I got really scared that I'd somehow set up a webcab thing and everyone could see me lying on my living room floor in my Primark leggings and Tshirt. I've been too scared to try any live on line fitness classes again.

However, what I do like, is the fact that one of my friends who is in a band does a live 'sundowners session' from his shed every week. It's fab! And I'm even techy enough to cast it onto my TV from either my phone or Ipad using my Google chrome-cast.

I may not be the most 'techy' person in the world but actually I'm a lot more techy than some of my friends. At least I've been doing online banking for years. I have at least three friends who have never, ever got to grips with the whole online banking thing so now they're finding it really difficult to check their accounts or work out what's going on with their money. In normal times they'd make a trip to the bank every couple of weeks. Until recently I didn't even realise that people still did that. I honestly cannot remember the last time I actually physically went into a bank.

So................. as you can see.................... I am pretty techy after all??!!

Thursday 21 May 2020

In Scotland we still can't meet up with anyone outside our household, but this afternoon I popped round to see my friend S and we sat in the garden and had a glass of wine. Half of her kitchen ceiling had fallen down during the night, due to a flood in the flat upstairs. What an awful thing to have happen. I deemed her mental health was at risk, so a bottle of wine was called for. It's going to take forever for her to get it sorted.

Apparently Nicola has spoken and Scotland is going to start the exit from lock down process next Thursday. Yay!

Meanwhile in England, everybody seems to be going mad and driving for hours to get to beaches and local beauty spots. Well, Boris has spoken, so I guess it's only to be expected.

Blog post 21 – Grateful

I am so, so lucky.

Yesterday evening I sat out on my balcony with a glass of wine looking at the most fabulous view that I have from my flat. I don't live in a mansion. I don't have a garden. I don't have any family nearby. They're all hundreds of miles away. I haven't been able to do my normal 'have friends round for dinner & drinks'.

I'm alone.

I'm 61 years old and alone in my flat, by myself, with my dog. I am very grateful to have my dog because she gives me an essential reason to go out everyday.

However I also have a lot of other things to feel grateful for.

I am grateful that I have a lovely 2-bed flat, with a balcony that I can enjoy by myself. It must be awful to be cooped up in a flat this size with a family.

I'm grateful that even though I'm not actually earning any money in these difficult times, I have enough savings to survive on. I'm annoyed that because I have 'savings' I can't actually claim anything and everyone else seems to be getting 'handouts' left, right and centre.

I'm grateful I'm still alive.

I am really, really lucky.

I'm 61 years of age and I have no underlying health issues. I can't even remember when I last went to the doctors. I have so much to feel grateful for.

In these times of lock down I really, really, do feel so very grateful for everything that I have in life.

I have to admit that sometimes I struggle with this lock down thing. I struggle because I am alone. I've lived alone for years. BUT my whole life, for the last 40 years, has revolved around going out to pubs and clubs and restaurants and coffee shops and meeting up with my friends. And now I've been alone for more than 2 months........................

….....................BUT actually.......................... I've developed a new normal for myself. I walk my dog. I shop once a week. I watch a lot of TV. I study on-line. And for all of that I'm very grateful.

Who knows when this lock down thing will end. Will life ever return back to normal? I doubt it.

But there again what is normal? 'Normal' will probably not ever happen for a long time.

'Grateful' is another emotion though and I have to say that I am very grateful for being privileged enough to have a lovely home and enough money to spend lock down in a very comfortable environment.

Friday 22 May 2020

60 days in lock down. The days are very samey. When will this ever end?

Blog post 22 – Routine

When lock down first begin I read an article that had been written by somebody who had spent a lot of time on a submarine. I can't for the life of me remember where I read this, or even who had written it, but it was really interesting. Basically it was saying that to survive being confined in isolation in a small space for a number of weeks one had to stick to a routine. Eg meal times at a certain time etc. I think this was because the days become very samey and if you have a routine then you work towards what is happening at a certain time. You just take one day at a time and focus on what is only a few hours ahead, not what is going to happen weeks or months in the future.

I didn't actually think I had any routine to my life until I started to think about what I was going to write in this post.

I own a dog and live in a flat and for that I am very lucky. It means that I have an essential reason to go out twice a day. Every morning after I've showered and dressed I take the dog for a walk and then return home and have breakfast. At some point during the afternoon I take the dog for another walk. And then just before bedtime I'll take her out again for a before bedtime wee. My whole life at the moment seems to be focused around my dog and I truly believe if I didn't have her there might be days that I didn't even bother to get dressed or even get out of bed.

Apart from the dog, there is very little in my life that I actually need to do. I go shopping on a Wednesday morning for an old lady and do my own weekly shop at the same time. This has become the highlight of my week. I get to go to a supermarket in the car and then off I go to deliver the shopping to my old lady. I place the shopping bags on her doorstep and then stand back and have a social distancing chat with her. Who would have thought that chatting to a lady in her late 80s for 10 mins would have been the most exciting thing I have to look forward to every week. But it is and I know she likes chatting to me too. It's the only real life interaction both of us have had with anyone since lock down began.

The other thing that I do each week is go out to do the 'clap' at 8pm every Thursday evening. I've never missed a week because I feel it is important to show the NHS and frontline workers how important they are in this crisis. I remember the first time we did this. There I was standing on my balcony in the dark, thinking it was a one off show of solidarity and now we've been clapping for weeks. And it doesn't get dark until about 10pm.

And those things, are pretty much the only routine I have in my life at the moment.

When lock down first started I was full of good intentions to do online fitness classes and certainly for a week; every day at 10am I got changed into my fitness gear and danced around the living room. That came to an abrupt end when it was sunny one morning and I decided to sit outside on the balcony and make the most of the nice weather. Somehow I never got back into the routine of my 10am online fitness classes.

It's the same with all the jobs I was going to do. At the start of lock down I wrote myself a little time table which involved doing a 'job' after my fitness class. It might have been tidying out my wardrobe, or cleaning out the cupboard under the sink, etc. In all fairness to myself, after almost 8 weeks in lock down, I have completed most of these tasks but I certainly haven't stuck to my timetable of when I did them. I've just done them when I've managed to tear myself away from the daytime TV which I seem to be watching all the time.

Ditto the online course that I signed up to do. What better time to learn a new skill then when one is confined to isolation in lock down. Full of enthusiasm I thought I could spend 2-3 hours a day working on this. Hmmmm.................. having not studied for more years than I care to remember, I underestimated the amount of commitment this would take. And at the end of the day I don't actually need any more qualifications. It's not like I'm going to begin a new career at my age. So yes, I'm doing the course and I'm actually about two thirds of the way through it now. But, I'm certainly not studying for 2-3 hours a day and I'm not sticking to a set time when I do it. I just do it when I feel motivated, which actually isn't that often.

I'm sure that sticking to a routine is probably is a good thing to do. I have a single friend who is also 'home alone' and she has certain things that she does on certain days and she doesn't deviate from her routine. Ie, every Monday she does a shop, every Thursday she phones her friends for a catch up, every Wednesday she does her cleaning. She sticks to this routine and woe betide anyone who phones on her cleaning day. She hates not being able to work to her routine and to be honest she seems to be coping a lot better than I am.

However, as I stated above because I have a dog, I pretty much have some routine in my life every day. During the first two to three weeks of lock down I felt incredibly guilty that I wasn't achieving more. Now I don't really care. I've developed a new kind of normal and if that means sitting around watching about 50% more TV than I normally do then so be it.

Lock down isn't going to last for ever, though I do sometimes worry that once this is all over I won't have any motivation left. Will I want to go back to my fitness club? Will I want to go shopping when it really isn't essential? Will I want to put make up on? Apparently it takes three weeks to change a habit. We've now been in lock down for almost 8 weeks. Personally I don't think our lives are ever going to go back to how they were before Covid-19.

…...................And although I'm ashamed to say it...................... I'm getting a bit worried that by becoming a 'lazy slob' that doesn't really do very much all day, then this has become the norm in my life and once we do get back to normal (whatever normal may be) I won't be motivated enough to get out of my 'slobbish mode' and back into my so called normal routine.

Saturday 23 May 2020

What a horrible day. Windy. Rainy. Cold. Feeling trapped. Feeling Lonely. Feeling bored.

Blog post 23 – Politicians breaking the rules

What is it with all these politician who think that it's OK for them to break the lock down rules?

First we had Dr Catherine Calderwood, (the Chief Medical Officer for Scotland) visiting her second home in Fife. How she thought she wouldn't be spotted walking her dog on the beach I don't know. At the beginning of lock down she was on every single advert telling people to stay home. And then she blatantly breaks the very rules that she had been telling the country to abide by. I just don't understand what possessed her to even think that she could go to her second home. Or how she thought she could actually manage to visit her second home without someone spotting her when her face had been plastered across every TV in the country. Unfortunately for her, her position became untenable and she quit on 5^th April. I know she said in a public statement that she deeply regretted her actions, but do you think she really did? As the Chief Medical Officer for Scotland we have to assume that she is a very intelligent person. May be so intelligent that she actually hasn't got any common sense. Or did she just think she was above the general advice that she was dishing out to the nation? Who knows.

And now we've got Dominic Cummings (the top aide to the Prime Minister) thinking that he is above the rules that the rest of the country has to follow. Apparently he drove more than 260 miles from his home in London at the end of March, with his wife and son, to go and visit his parents in Durham. And this is even after he had Coronavirus type symptoms. Unbelievable. And these are the people who are leading our country and setting out the lock down rules of what we can and cannot do.

Apparently they're not the only ones. It has been reported that Nigel Farage (Brexit party leader) travelled more than 100 miles to Dover to film a video about immigration. Reportedly two police officers knocked on his door to talk to him about essential travel as someone had reported him. If the news reports are to be believed this WAS essential travel as he was reporting on the illegal migrant scandal that was taking place. Was this really essential? I don't know. I don't seem to have seen anything much in the news in the last two months except for news about Covid-19. How many people have got the virus, how many people have died from it, etc, etc. I'm not saying that immigration isn't important, I'm just saying that like all other important things that are happening in the world right now, nothing much is actually getting reported.

Then we have Robert Jenrick (the housing, communities and local government secretary) who travelled 150 miles from his London home to his Herefordshire home after lock down had begun. And then travelled a further 40 miles to visit his parents in Shropshire. And yet he was the one telling families cooped up in high-rise flats to stay home!

And of course we've all read about Professor Neil Ferguson (the key government advisor and scientist whose research helped to draw up the lock down rules). He's the one who allowed his lover to come to his home. Like the others, did he really think that he was above the law?

Over in Wales there was Stephen Kinnock (the MP for Aberavon) who travelled from London to South Wales to celebrate his father's birthday. And not only was he stupid enough to do this, he then posted a photo of himself on Twitter with his parents outside their home. Seriously!!!

It really does seem like there's one rule for the politicians and one rule for the rest of us and it's so unfair. These are the people who are running the country and as far as I am concerned these are the people who should be setting a good example to the rest of us. There again what do I know. They make the rules and then seem to think that they can break them. They seem to think that the rules are for other people not them. Or perhaps they think that because they so important and powerful that they are somehow immune to Covid-19. Who knows?!!

Sunday 24 May 2020

Another 13.6 miles walked and that's 'Project Edinburgh Golf Courses' complete. There's 18 golf courses in Edinburgh and I've walked on them all now. I can't say there's many advantages to lock down but I've really enjoyed this project.

And now I'm just sitting here watching Boris bumble his way through supporting Dominic Cummings (Chief Advisor to the PM) 260 mile round trip. Honestly why do these politicians think they they can make the rules but don't have to follow them?

He said he was acting legally and reasonably just because he wanted to drive from London to Durham to see his parents. I bet there's thousands of other people out there that would like to go and see their parents but don't because they're sticking to the rules.

Blog post 24 – Feelings of inadequacy

Does anyone else feel like they're not living up to being a 'perfect person' in these times of lock down?

I am so glad that I'm not a mother because to be a mother in 'lock down' must be the hardest thing in the world.

I have two friends on FB who are mothers. Actually I have a lot of friends on FB who are mothers, but the two who I admire the most are the ones who just seem to be embracing this whole thing and are spending their time creating wonderful memories for their children. I actually saw a post on FB today of one of my friends reading with her child. And in the background she had a white board in the kitchen which contained the family meals for the week. Very nutritionally balanced well thought out meals I have to add. She's obviously talked to her two kids and discussed what they were going to have to eat and no doubt the children get involved in the cooking of these meals. And even though they're very young, they can check the white board (with their mummy's help obv) and know what they're having for tea each day.

Ditto my sister who has her three kids (all in their 20s) back at home living with her. Apparently my sister still plans the weeks meals but my 23 year old nephew has drawn up a timetable for who cooks them. Just how organised is that?

Don't you just hate people who are that organised? I find it hard to organise myself and there's only one of me. However I have to admit to only doing one shop a week. And if I find that there's something that I've forgotten to buy then I just go without. Unless it's alcohol. I can do that because there's only one of me.

But it's not just cooking........................

…...............It's everything. I'm getting a bit fed up with seeing posts on FB/Instagram/Twitter of people who have managed to cut their own hair and are looking immaculate. Or people who are posting that they have lost loads of weight because they have been doing on line fitness classes, and people who have given up alcohol for the duration of lock down and have never felt better, and people who are baking their own bread and cakes and devising new recipes. And people who say, 'Isn't this great, we're making new memories every day.'

Hmmmmmm............We're all making new memories every day. It's just mine aren't actually ones that I want to remember. 2020 for me, so far, is the year, when I spent more than 60 days just talking to myself. It's the year when after just one week in lock down I started to experience the most overwhelming feelings of isolation and despondency. It's the year that I stopped even bothering to put on mascara to go to the shops. It's the year that my hair grew very long and very grey and I didn't actually care because I just tied it up and carried on because after all, who cares what colour or length my hair is.

And when I have a video call with friends, I'm the one who doesn't bother getting dressed up or who doesn't bother putting make up on, because actually just what is the point? You're in your own house. It all just seems to be a bit of an effort. And for what? Just to chat with friends, who should actually love you just the way you are, if they are proper friends.

Being in lock down alone is certainly not a position that I would ever advocate to anyone. Overnight my 'so called choice' of living alone was taken away from me and I was 'trapped' home alone.

I wouldn't say that in these days of lock down that I feel particularly inadequate because I'm actually quite a strong character who has never gone with the flow. I've always just done my 'own thing' and so in some ways life just carries on.

However what I do feel is; unmotivated. I'm annoyed with myself that I haven't actually got the motivation to do more in these times of lock down. But there again I guess everyone is different and we all just have to embrace these differences and get on with our lives. Lock down or no lock down.

Monday 25 May 2020

My weather app is telling me that it's going to be 22C on Friday. Yay! On Friday we will be experiencing the first day, after 67 days in lock down, that we can actually meet one other person outside. I am planning to go and see my friend, F, to sit in her garden and drink aperol spritz and a bottle of Prosecco.

Blog post 25 – Hairdressers

About a month ago it seemed like every news report was reporting that hairdressers wouldn't re-open for at least 6 months. ….........And then all the 'undercover' reports of barbers still working seemed to pop up. Undercover journalists all over the country seemed to be visiting barbers who were still operating and who were apparently charging more than double for their services. These Barbers weren't using PPE or even face masks and apparently didn't have any extra cleaning procedures in place. But still people were flocking to these illicit hair cutting places. Though I have to admit that all the reports that I saw were only about 'barbers'. I've never seen any reports of ladies hairdressers operating illegally.

I guess there could be two reasons for that, in my opinion.

Firstly it probably only takes about 15 mins max to cut a man's hair. Generally speaking they are in and out of a barbers before they even have time to drink a cup of coffee. So................... if barbers are operating illegally the chances of them being caught out are very slim. Let's face it................... If they see PC Plod wandering along the street towards them they can always just ask their client to leave straight away and would anyone in the street be any the wiser? If a man was in the middle of a hair cut and walked out into the street would anyone even notice what his hair looked like?

Not so a lady.

So secondly......................... I think that ladies hairdressers can't operate undercover in the same way as barbers can because ladies spend an awful lot more time at the hairdressers than men do.

Can you imagine going to an illegal operating hairdressers to get your roots done and two hours into your treatment you have to leave because someone has spotted PC Plod strolling along the High Street??!! I think it would be pretty obvious to all concerned,if all of a sudden, a lady walked out of a shop with her hair in foils or wisps of hair sticking out of a cap covered in some sort of hair dye.

Personally I don't really understand why men feel the need to go to Barbers during lock down anyway. Most of the men I know, just shave their heads themselves or get their wives/partners to do it. And I'm not sure that I believe all these reports about Barbers doubling their prices and charging more than £30 for cutting a man's hair in secret. But there again I'm sure these journalists must have done their research. Certainly during the first TV report I saw about this, there was a video (albeit with the faces of all concerned not visible) showing a Barber cutting a clients hair. Hmmmmm.................. can one believe everything that one reads in the news?

For me personally, I think my hair is growing faster than anyone else I know, so much so that I'm actually taking a photo of my hair every week to show everyone how it's growing. And I have to say that it's growing very fast. It's getting longer and greyer by the day.

Don't you just hate all those friends & family that still seem to be able to look immaculate at all times. As far as I'm concerned they all must have very slow growing hair. Or they all have the ability to cut one's own hair because they've watched the many Youtube videos that seem to be popping up all over place telling one how to cut ones own hair. I've watched a couple of these but no way would I feel confident enough to take the scissors to my long greying locks. Maybe I just lack in confidence. Lol!

Oh and just wondering................. has anyone else noticed how 'Nicola Sturgeon' always seems to look perfectly groomed during her daily briefings. Hair immaculate and I'm sure it's a different colour from what it was when lock down first started. I'm pretty certain that she is not stupid enough to visit an 'illegal' hairdressers so she must be colouring and cutting it herself. …...........Or perhaps she's got Frank, her husband helping out.

Not so Boris. His hair is even more of a mess than it normally is. But there again he's so eccentric and talks so much rubbish that I'm guessing that what his hair looks like is the least of his worries.

PS – Does anyone have any reliable up-to-date information as to when the hairdressers will actually open? Don't know about any of you lot, but my hair is certainly getting longer and getting greyer.

Tuesday 26 May 2020

Went to Braidburn Valley Park for the dog walk this afternoon. We're not allowed to sunbathe in public places in Scotland yet. Even so there were loads of people lying around sunbathing and a group of about 9 little kids playing in the burn. It's driving me mad, all these people who are blatantly breaking the rules and meeting in large groups. OK I admit I have met the occasional friend for a 2m sit apart for a chat in real life, but I haven't been putting myself and others at risk by meeting groups of friends.

Blog post 26 – Three weeks to break a habit – reminiscing

Apparently it takes three weeks to break a habit, an addiction, a routine?! I haven't a clue where I read that. But I did. But I don't actually think it's true.

I drink far too much wine. And the 'three week' thing just doesn't do it for me. I constantly regularly drink more than the recommended 14 units of alcohol per week and I would say that about once a year I go without alcohol for a whole month. Just to prove to myself that I can. I do it so that I can tell myself I'm not an alcoholic?!!

I'm a 61 year old single female who has been drinking alcohol pretty much every single evening since lock down began. That's more than 2 months now. But actually that is normal for me.

Apparently the sale of alcohol in the UK has increased by more than a third since lock down. Hmmmmm.......... I think that's only to be expected because after all, all the pubs are closed so everyone is now drinking at home. It's obvious that supermarkets and off licenses are going to be benefiting from all the home drinking that is going on.

BUT does it really only take three weeks to break a habit? Perhaps it does. Perhaps it doesn't. Where do these statistics come from?

I personally, drink far too much wine. I've drunk far too much wine for about the last 25 years of my life. I know I drink far too much wine so every now and again I go for a month without drinking any alcohol at all. As I mentioned above, I do this just so that I can prove to myself that I can. I actually like wine. It's part of my daily life. I love it. But is it an 'essential' part of my life that I should be embracing during lock down? Probably not. But still I add a lot of bottles of wine into my weekly supermarket shop.

But it's not just alcohol. It's cigarettes and gambling and people gorging on cakes and chocolate and takeaways. Apparently the on line gambling sites have seen a massive surge of people registering over the last couple of months. And I have loads of friends, who for some reason, feel the need to go out to get a takeaway coffee from Costa or a doughnut or cake from the local bakery. Is any of this really 'essential'?

Everyone has some sort of an addiction.....................

35 years ago I think I was addicted to coffee. In the early to mid 80s when the most sought after item for a 'yuppie' to have was a 'filter coffee machine'; I had one. And I wasn't even a yuppie. Lol! I was a very low paid primary teacher. I remember my grandparents coming to visit me in my very first flat in 1984 and immediately reporting back to my mother that I was addicted to coffee because I'd been showing off and had had my coffee machine switched on for the duration of their visit. Perhaps I thought it was some sort of status symbol. Perhaps I thought that they would report back to my parents that because I had a coffee machine they would maybe view me as someone who had actually reached the ranks of the professional elite that they always wanted me to aspire to. Who knows??

30 years ago I was addicted to 'aerobics'. I used to attend at least 7 classes a week, sometimes more, and I taught 3 classes a week, (after having trained as an aerobic instructor in the late 80s.) If I missed even one of these classes I was distraught. Looking back I was most definitely addicted to exercise. Obviously at the time I didn't think I was. I just thought I was keeping fit.

20 years ago I was the manager of a hotel and I couldn't wait until the latest edition of 'Hotel & Caterer' came out. I used to devour it for all things relating to my latest choice of career. I was obsessed with the 'hospitality industry' and couldn't really understand how 'my staff' (most of which were youngsters in very low paid jobs) didn't understand my passion.

15 years ago I'd just acquired my first 'rescue' dog and my obsession was 'all things dog related'. Dog magazines, dog training courses, etc. etc.

And now............................. at 61 years of age I just want a quiet life but I know that I am drinking far too much wine. …..............But I don't eat cakes or chocolate or smoke or gamble so I reckon that a few bottles glasses of wine a night isn't really going to do me that much harm is it????

Hmmmm.................... I've just read through what I've written here. Has it got anything to do with 'Life in Lockdown'? Not sure. But there again as I stated on 1^st May 2020, when I decided to post something everything for the month of May; I actually didn't have a clue where this would take me.

Tonight it's taken me on a bit of a trip down memory lane. 'Three weeks to break a habit'? ….........Perhaps today's title is wrong. Perhaps not. I thought about changing the title to 'Reminiscing' because that's what this post seems to have turned into. However even though I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here, I'm going to keep the title as, 'three weeks to break a habit' because I believe that, that is what I have talked about in this post!!!

Actually re-reading it and re-reading it and re-reading it. It has absolutely nothing to do with three weeks to break a habit so I'm going to re-name it.

'Three weeks to break a habit – Reminiscing'

I seem to have broken my 'habit' of drinking coffee and going to aerobic classes and being obsessed with a career in the hospitality industry and training rescue dogs. These 'habits' just seemed to have died a natural death when I moved onto the next obsession/habit to engulf my life.

All I need now is a new habit/obsession to focus on instead of drinking wine?!!

Wednesday 27 May 2020

Loads of people sunbathing on the Meadows this afternoon and not a policeman in sight. Absolutely loving this weather.

Blog post 27 – Mental health

Just wondering how you all feel about your mental health in these days of lock down? Mental health seems to be the 'in thing' these days. And by that I mean that since the 1^st & 2^nd World Wars, (when mental health was never, ever an issue, or at least never an issue that was talked about publicly), in today's world, mental health seems to be as important, if not more so, than physical health.

And let me just be clear here. I think that one's mental health is really important. However, I can't help thinking that sometimes 'mental health' issues are just an excuse to allow people to do whatever they want.

During these times of lock down and isolation we're all experiencing feelings that I don't think any of us ever expected to experience in the whole of our lives. (Except for Dominic Cummings of course, who seems to think that he is above the whole lock down and isolation thing. I cannot believe how that slimy little snake thinks that he can do what he wants. Anyway this rant is not about him. I don't even want to give him the time of day.)

Mental health in the UK was a HUGE issue even before lock down started. But now it seems to have multiplied enormously. It's almost like the physical health of the nation has been pushed to one side and the mental health of everybody is more important. Statistics have shown that in the last couple of months the admissions to A&E and to GPs have fallen drastically. I don't know the exact statistics because I haven't bothered to research them and as this is my blog and I'm only writing from my point of view, I don't really feel I need to.

This is not a 'factual' blog. It's a, 'my blog from my point of view', type blog. I'm not looking to make a load of money out of it or attract a load of followers. I'm just trying to record stuff that I feel is worth writing about during my life in lock down. I think it helps my mental health to write stuff down or to have a rant every now and again.

I've googled, 'what is the definition of mental health' and the reply that popped up is: 'a persons condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well being'. Hmmmm............. well that covers a multiple of sins doesn't it?

I personally feel that people's mental health is somehow taking precedence over their physical health, so much so that the TV is now full of adverts urging people to go to hospital or their GP if they have a physical ailment. It would seem that people are too scared to go to their doctor or hospital through fear of catching Coronavirus or fear of being a burden on the NHS because they fear that their ailment may not be important. This lack of visiting a doctor appears to have got so bad that now the latest slogan is; 'if it's urgent, it's urgent.'

Not so with people's mental health. I don't know about you but my Face Book page is full of posts saying that just because a person seems to look OK on the outside, doesn't mean to say that they are not suffering on the inside. There's all sorts of posts popping up about why it may be 'essential' for someone to go out and buy some plants or a tin of paint. Or go out to get a takeaway or a coffee.

And there's loads of stuff popping up saying how lonely and depressed and isolated people are becoming. Apparently suicidal thoughts and self harming are on the increase. Coronavirus is being compared to life during the war. Which in one way it is, but in another it isn't. During the war, mental health (although obviously an issue) was never, ever discussed. It was just swept under the carpet and the soldiers returning from the battlefields with post traumatic stress disorder weren't really given any support. And as for the families that they left behind....................... having to cope home alone with no knowledge of what their husbands/fathers/brothers/sons were experiencing......................... well they just didn't know. They just had to maintain a stiff upper lip and get on with it.

Today we all have to be mindful about other people's feelings and understand that mental health is as important as physical health. Whilst I appreciate all this, I can't help feeling that mental health is being used as an 'excuse' for a whole host of 'rule breaking' during lock down. As far as I'm concerned; we're in lock down. And even though we're now coming out of lock down there shouldn't really be any exceptions to the rules. People shouldn't really be breaking the rules for any reason. Mental health or not. The rules have been made for the good of the nation and as such we should all follow them to the very best of our ability. None of us should be making excuses to go out more than is absolutely essential or to visit relatives/friends because our mental health is at risk. If people can put their 'physical health' on the back burner for a while then surely one should be able to do the same with their mental health.

I have to admit all of this is very hard for me to understand. But that's probably because I grew up in an environment where one didn't talk about one's feelings. I guess that's because I grew up in the aftermath of World War 2 when everybody just had to assume a 'stiff upper lip' and 'get on with it'. As children/teenagers we were never allowed to outwardly show any signs of weakness or insecurity or anxiety, because that would reflect on the family as a whole and how we had been brought up. In the 1960/70s any form of mental health was seen as a real weakness that brought disgrace upon the family. I remember in my late teens going through a very traumatic experience. When my parents found out about it, it was almost like, if it wasn't discussed then it hadn't happened. As far as my parents were concerned it was a subject that I was banned from telling anyone about, because if it had it been openly discussed, in my fathers words, 'the police will get involved and then all the neighbours will know.' I don't blame my parents for this. It was just the way things were back then. And I have to admit this outlook on life only served to make me tougher, and in more than 40 years since this incident, I have always just got on with things by myself and learnt to deal with things by myself.

These days though, everybody seems to think that they're a victim. You get bullied at school/work/on-line; you're a victim. To me everyone's been bullied at some point in their life. Get over it.

An ex-boyfriend or someone else is stalking you; you're a victim. Get over it.

And at this point I will actually say that I had a new bathroom fitted in my house 3 years ago and one of the plumbers started 'on-line stalking' me. Yes me, a middle aged woman. Ie, he started sending me 'inappropriate' texts & messages. I just ignored them and didn't respond to any of them. Why would I? I thought he'd gone away because I hadn't had any communication from him for over a year, but then 3 days ago I received another one asking how I was??? Obviously like all the others I ignored it. I'm not interested in him so why would I even respond to any of his messages. Unfortunately I fear that had I been a teenage girl, I would have answered when he asked, 'If you want me to stop contacting you just let me know and you'll never hear from me again.' As a middle aged woman I just ignored that message as well. As far as I'm concerned if you don't want to communicate with people then don't communicate with them under any circumstances.

I don't feel traumatised by this experience. It's annoying, yes, especially as it's been going on for more than 3 years now. But do I feel like I need counselling to get over it? No I don't. I personally feel that growing up in the 1960/70s has taught me to be resilient and just look after myself. Mental Health wasn't an issue then and it's not an issue for me now.

Oh and just to finish........................ a friends car was broken into overnight a couple of weeks ago. She phoned the police to report it, mainly I think to get a crime reference number for insurance purposes; and was asked if she would like counselling. Seriously??!! Counselling because someone has smashed a window in your car?

#theworldhasgonemad

Thursday 28 May 2020

After 10 weeks of clapping for all the key workers, tonight was the last night that we did the last clap and everyone was out in full force. Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. 10 weeks is a long time but I've actually enjoyed doing the clap. At least I've felt like there's other people out there, even if nobody else actually goes out onto their balconies to do it. They all just stand by their windows. Looking forward to getting back to normality.

Blog post 28 – Cyclists

So how many of you have been for a walk in a park or along a canal path or on a shared walkway with cyclists? I would hazard a guess that a lot of you have.

What is it with cyclists? Why do they think that they can creep up behind you, crash into you and then zoom off without so much as a sorry? And yes I am talking from personal experience. 3 months ago, I really, really wish I had taken a photo of the bruise on my arm made by a cyclists handlebars crashing into me because she hadn't bothered to ring a bell to warn me of the fact that she was about to overtake me on a bike in very close proximity to me.

There I was, walking on a path in the park with my dog. My dog was running around on the grass but I was walking on a path (that was probably wide enough for 3 walkers) when a cyclist just whizzed past me, clipping my arm and leaving a HUGE bruise. ….......And was miles away before I even had time to react?!

Seriously??!! What is wrong with these people?

And since lock down this problem has become much, much worse. It seems like the minute that lock down was announced, the whole world decided to take up cycling and go riding about in places that cyclists in normal times wouldn't even have considered cycling on. Ie, golf courses. Are cyclists even allowed to cycle on golf courses.

This is only my opinion, but as far as I am concerned the majority of cyclists that I come into contact with are very inconsiderate and show absolutely no regard for the other people who may be using the same path. Joggers are a similar. I might rant about them at a later date! If someone is out walking, one has absolutely no idea who is behind you. Bikes on the whole are silent modes of transport so one doesn't know that a bike is behind one unless the cyclist has the decency to ring a bell to warn a pedestrian of their imminent approach.

Apparently during these times of Coronavirus, social distancing should be 5m apart for joggers and 10m for cyclists because of the amount of sweat they generate and the fact that they have a cloud of virus around them and in their slipstream?! Hmmmmmm................. I don't think any jogger or cyclist that has passed me is aware of this information.

I just wish that they would show a bit of consideration and put a bell on their bike. Bells are not expensive. You can buy one on Amazon for less than £1. The bikes these people are riding probably cost thousands of pounds. And if not thousands, definitely hundreds. And yet they don't think it's worth spending £1 on a bell for their bike?

To be honest, I have spoken to 'cyclist friends' about this problem. Their view about 'bells on bikes' is completely different from mine. My 'cyclist friends' say that it is rude to ring a bell on a bike. They say that ringing a bell on a bike is like saying, 'I'm more important than you so get out of my way.' My reply to that would be............................. 'You're going to zoom past me anyway so it would be nice if I could have a bit of warning that you're actually behind me. After all, bikes are pretty silent. They don't make a noise. And also I don't always walk in a straight line (and my dog certainly doesn't). So far all I've had is a bruised arm. If a bike is 'overtaking' me on a narrow path, ie the canal path, it's only a matter of time before either I fall in the canal, the cyclist falls in the canal, or my dog falls in the canal.

I'm all for 'shared amenities' and I think that the cycle routes/walkways are amazing. There's so many fabulous places for me to walk with my dog. But there's got to be 'give and take'??? The cyclists don't own the parks and walkways. They' really do need to understand that a 'shared pathway' means just that??!! SHARED!!

A 'shared pathway' is for everybody. A shared pathway does not mean that cyclists can zoom along it without any regard for anyone else. On a shared pathway there will probably be dog walkers, kids, wheelchair users, mums with buggy's, teenagers not paying attention to anything because they're too busy checking their phones, old people out for an afternoon stroll. And quite a few other members of the community that I can't even think of.

But to get back to 'cyclists'.................. which was what this original post was about. For less than £1 a cyclist could just buy a bell for their bike, and give one little ring when they want to overtake a walker. And then we'd all be a lot happier.

#Whyisthatsohard

Friday 29 May 2020

Freedom day! Or in other words, day 1 of phase 1 of coming out of lock down. Who would have thought that I would be this excited to meet one person in a garden for a chat. In the last 67 days my life has changed beyond all recognition.

So today I went to Fs house and we sat in the garden and had a little picnic and an aperol spritz and a bottle of Prosecco. It was lovely and the temp was 25C. When is it ever 25C in Scotland. We have been extremely lucky with the weather during this lock down. Imagine if lock down had been in the winter and it had been cold, wet and dark for the whole time.

 

Stayed at Fs house for about three hours and then walked home via the park.

Apparently we can now also drive up to 5 miles for leisure purposes. As far as I'm concerned, if we can only go 5 miles we might as well walk!!

Anyway my own personal stages for coming out of lock down are, in no particular order............................. going back to work, being able to rent out my house in Cornwall, being able to go back to my fitness club, being able to have friends round for dinner or go out for a meal and getting my hair cut. None of which is going to happen very soon. Grrrrrr.................................

Blog post 29 – Social media and the internet

About a week into lock down I had conversation with my sister, who lives about 300 miles away from me and has three kids in their early 20s, all back at home with their mummy & daddy for one reason or another. I said that we were really lucky to have the internet and social media to keep in touch with each other. She said that it was a very negative medium because people/teenagers/children would view the 'so called positive posts' as the norm and would feel that they weren't living up to them.

My sister was concerned that because the internet and social media were posting all these positive posts of mummies doing spectacular things with their kids and making the rest of the world feel inferior, it would impact on the rest of the world who didn't have the same privileges. My reaction was; 'that's life'. There's always going to be people in the world that are richer, happier, live in bigger houses, have a more so called perfect life than you.

However, although social media and the internet may highlight these issues more, they've always been there. There's always been bullying and people who feel they're more important than others. Its just that the internet and social media can do it in a more 'anonymous' way. 'Keyboard warriors'?? Don't you just hate them?

Personally I think that the positives of social media and the internet outweigh the negatives.

In 1987 when I lived in Canada for a year, I had absolutely no form of communication with any friends or family back home, apart from writing letters. The only time that my parents phoned me was on Christmas Day. And to be honest I haven't a clue how much that cost. International phone calls were really, really expensive at that time so to make a phone call to somewhere abroad was only ever used in an emergency or for a special occasion.

Fast forward to 2020. My 20 year old niece did one of these 'camp America' placements last year for 3 months. 3 months?! It's hardly a life time is it? In fact it wasn't even three months because my sister paid about £300 for her to change her flight and come home a couple of weeks early. Another 3 weeks and we'll have been in lock down for 3 months. My sister & niece were communicating almost on a daily basis, via whatsapp & Face Book etc, and when my niece told her mummy she wanted a 'care package' (apparently that's a box containing all the stuff from home that she was missing like chocolate) my sister obliged and sent one out. FFS?! Kids these days just haven't a clue. I can just imagine if I'd written a letter to my parents back in 1987 and asked for a 'care package'............... Firstly, the letter wouldn't have got to them for about 10 days. And secondly, my parents would have told me not to be so stupid. There is absolutely no way that they would have 'wasted money' and sent me a 'care box' containing bars of chocolate. I was in my 20s and I'd made the decision to live in Canada for a year so once I'd said goodbye to them, that was pretty much it for a year. Not so today. And I'm certainly not blaming the kids of today. They don't know any different. I got my first mobile phone and email address in 1999 which was the year my neice was born so she's obviously grown up with modern day technology. But, it does annoy me that kids in their 20s (& even their 30s) don't seem to be able to exsist these days without consulting mummy & daddy on every aspect of their life. And looking further back in history 14/15 year olds left school and got jobs and were responsible human beings. Not so today. Everyone seems to think they're a victim of one thing or the other. Oh dear, I'm going a bit off topic here. Sorry.

These days, whatever you think of social media, the ability to easily keep in touch with friends and family all around the world couldn't be simpler. Can you imagine what the last couple of months would have been like for single people if they hadn't had wifi as a form of communication. We can talk to one person online or a group of people. We can instantly see photos and videos of our friends and family. We know immediately what everyone is up to.

However the ability to connect to wifi does not come without it's problems. Over the last couple of months, keyboard warriors as mentioned above, seem to have become a lot more prevalent on certain Face Book pages. I don't know what makes some people behave in such a nasty way when commenting on various posts. I follow a few pages that have been set up in tourist hot spots both at the beach and in the countryside and to be honest some of the comments on these pages are disgusting. Would people really behave in that way if they were faced with making comments to people in real life. I suspect not. We've all read the posts from locals who live in these tourist hot spots telling tourists to stay home and not to visit their areas due to the hospitals not being able to cope with an influx of ill people. And then we get the visitors responding by saying that these communities wouldn't survive without the tourists and because the locals have been so horrible, once this is all over then they won't be visiting ever again. And so it goes on and on and on.

And it's not only these sort of posts that create bad feeling. Because everything these days is done on line it's very, very, easy just to post something in the heat of the moment without actually thinking it through. Indeed I know of one elderly couple who had a visit from the police because one of their neighbours had reported them for having a family member to visit. As it happened, the family member was just dropping shopping off on the doorstep because 'elderly couple' are in the vulnerable group and not allowed out. If the so called nosey neighbour had actually bothered to watch the whole interaction they would have seen this. But no, they see a car drive up, the couples daughter gets out and goes up the path to the house so nosey neighbours just assumed she was going in. And immediately goes on line to report them. And the upsetting thing about all this is that the police are not allowed to tell the couple who it was that reported them, so after living for more than 20 years in what they thought was a friendly neighbourhood, they now don't know who they can trust. If people hadn't had wifi, perhaps they might have taken a step back and actually asked these people why their daughter was visiting.

However I personally see social media and the internet as a positive addition to my life. I for one, would be lost without it, and for me it has been in godsend in these days of social isolation. I guess it all comes down to how you use it. After all, if you're on a social media site and you don't like what's been written, then you don't have to read it.

Saturday 30 May 2020

Went to Ss house today and sat in the garden with her and another friend, G. OK I know that we're not really supposed to meet in a group of three but we were very careful to stay 2m away from each other. We drank champagne and ate smoked salmon because meeting people again in real life is definitely worthy of a celebration. However, after we'd finished the champagne and had another glass of wine, I decided to go home in case I needed the toilet. Going indoors to use the toilet in someone else's house is still not allowed?! I bet there'll be a lot of people breaking that rule.

Blog post 30 – Weather

One of the major positives about being in lock down for 68 days has been the weather. Apart from the odd few days here & there the weather in the UK has been absolutely fabulous for the last couple of months. And this has definitely been a huge 'positive' in the way we have all lived our lives since we went into lock down.

As you all know, I have a dog, so I have to go out whatever the weather. However as the weather has mostly been really good, I have been walking for miles and miles and miles.

I don't feel guilty about this because I live in a 4^th floor flat and my dog needs to go out for toileting purposes. She obviously doesn't need to go out for a 14 mile walk but actually on my 14 mile walks I very rarely pass anyone closer than 2m (which I would do in a supermarket or in a takeaway queue) and we always start the walk from our front door and end up at our front door.

However, this fabulous weather has good and bad points from the point of view of the nation being in lock down.

The good points are............................. we've all been able to get out in the sunshine for our daily walks. The good weather has encouraged everyone to go out and walk or cycle or jog or do whatever.

The bad points are.......................... people want to sit outside and disregard all the rules. We've all seen the photos of crowded beaches or countryside beauty hotspots that have been filled with picnicking people long before we even moved into the first stage of lock down.

Personally I think that we're all really, really lucky that Coronavirus struck the UK when it did. Can you imagine what it would have been like if we'd entered this lock down phase at the beginning of November. Can you imagine 6 months of lock down pretty much in the dark? At least we entered it at the start of summer and the weather from first thing in the morning until last thing at night has been fab.

Looking back to when we did the first clap at the end of March, it was dark. I remember standing out on my balcony, in the dark, and hearing everyone clapping but not being able to see anyone because it was so dark. And yet by the following week the clocks had gone forward and ever since it's just got lighter and lighter. However, it's less than a month until the 21^st June when we will experience the longest day of the year and then the nights will start getting darker again.

Even though the weather is absolutely fabulous at the moment its almost like the seasons are passing us by. I haven't a clue what happened to April and now we're at the end of May. Will June pass us by in the same way. Who knows.

The weather forecast for the next few days is superb. However this good weather seems to be encouraging everyone to leave their brains at home. When I walked my dog through the park today there were zillions of people sitting around having picnics with zillions of kids who were most definitely not social distancing.

I guess it's hard. I'm a single person. I live by myself. I go shopping once a week. I'm very self sufficient and don't feel the need to go around hugging people at the best of times. I'm not a 'huggy' person. However, today I went to see a friend in her garden. We had a 'social distancing' chat and it was lovely. And I am so grateful that the weather was lovely enough for us to do that.

As I've said above.............................. we are all sooooo, soooooo lucky that the weather has been this fabulous during lock down.

Sunday 31 May 2020

Is anyone else getting obsessed with going to bed early during this lock down thing? I often go to bed at about 9.30pm because doing nothing makes me really tired. I fall asleep straight away but then wake up a couple of hours later, thinking it's morning and then I can't get back to sleep again so I end up only having a few hours sleep.

Anyway today was almost like normal although it's actually quite difficult to remember what normal is.

Took Trixie to Bruntsfield Links so that she could meet with one of her little doggie friends for a play and I could have a chat with his owners.

Then I realised that Trixie hasn't been in the car since the 15^th March. I wanted to check that she still knew how to behave in the car so this afternoon I drove 3.9 miles to my friend Ks house, which was within the 5 mile trip that we are allowed to make. Trixie jumped into the car in excited mode and behaved perfectly which was good because I was a bit worried that she might be a bit scared of going in the car seeing as she hadn't done it for so long.

We took her for a social distancing walk around Inverleith Park and then I came home. As I say, almost a normal day. Long may it continue.

Blog post 31 – 10 weeks in lockdown

By tomorrow we will have spent 10 weeks in lock down and even though the lock down restrictions are gradually being lifted, life is no where near getting back to normal. At least for me it isn't. Because I'm 61 years old, self employed in the hospitality industry as a 'meeter & greeter' for visitors to my city who are staying in short term lets, and my main source of income comes from a property that I let out in a so called 'tourist hotspot', I have had no income coming in for the last 10 weeks. I haven't been able to claim any of these so called Government handouts. The property I own in a holiday hotspot is listed as a 'second home' so throughout this whole lock down thing I haven't been able to claim anything. However, if I'd registered it as a 'business' I wouldn't have had to pay council tax and I also would have been able to claim government grants of up to £10,000. But I didn't. So I can't. I'm paying more than £180 every month in council tax and water rates. And for what? I'm not putting any rubbish out in the bins, I'm not using any water, nobody should be going out at night so we shouldn't need to be paying for street lighting, the public toilets aren't open, etc. etc. etc. Are any of us going to get a refund on our council tax? I very much doubt it.

Anyway I must stop ranting. The only thing that has kept me sane during this whole lock down thing is........................... the fact that I am very grateful for the life that I have. Ie, I'm not a single unemployed mother, living on the breadline, with six kids in a high rise flat.

However, when I set out on the 1^stMay 2020, to record my thoughts on this blog (every day for 31 days) about random things during the coronavirus lock down, I never actually realised how easy it would be. I like to have little challenges to work towards every month but I actually thought that posting something everyday about my thoughts and feelings, as a 61 year old single female, in lock down for one month might not actually happen because I didn't think that I would have enough to write about. Writing every day has actually made me realise that I have loads to write about. It doesn't matter to me if one person reads what I write or a million people read what I write. I write for ME. I write because that's what I like doing. And if it's online then I'm guessing it's out there forever. A little bit of history in the making.

I'd really love to be 'techy' enough to add photos and links etc etc etc into my writing but at the moment I can't. Perhaps I should use this lock down phase to learn how to do it. But actually, I'm pretty lazy and the weather has been fab recently so I'm quite happy to sit in the sun with trashy magazines.

And now we've almost completed 10 weeks of lock down and the death rate in the UK is the highest in Europe. More than 40,000 DEATHS. That is seriously scary. When this whole thing started we were told that the UK could be facing up to 20,000 deaths??!! BUT that was more than 3 months ago and I obviously didn't have a clue how serious this deadly virus was. That's why I love writing things down and looking back to see how I actually felt at the time of writing.

My challenge for the month of May was to write something about my life during the Coronavirus pandemic. I've done that but I actually still have quite a lot to say so I may continue to post my views and opinions whenever I feel I've got something worth saying. Who knows. Watch this space!